♥♥Mum to Superkids Baby on board♥♥

My partner and I are arguing about this lol. He wants a surprise and I want to know so we can buy for a girl/boy. He said I should find out and not tell him but that sort of defeats the purpose of getting organised!

What did you decide to do and why?

I have an 11 year old staffy X lab. He's in pretty good health, he has arthritis and slightly failing eyesight, but health wise he is good, very slightly overweight due to exercise restrictions lately. He needs to have surgery for a torn cruciate ligament and I'm just wondering if his age poses any extra risks with the anesthetic or recovery?

I've read a few Q&A recently on the apprehension of children into foster care. I'm curious about the process in different areas, and what the wider public's understanding of this process is.

What is your understanding of the way the system works in dealing with families where neglect/abuse is present in your part of the world?

Over here in my part of Australia, we have very few actual adoptions, as I think many people are aware of. When children in foster care require permanent care after their natural parents have had their rights terminated, there are generally two options.

A) The child is placed in the CEO's care (ward of the state) until the age of 18. This option I do not like, personally, as it affords the children no rights or guarantees of permanency or stability.

B) The foster parents currently fostering the child (be they relatives or general carers) are awarded a special type of guardianship called enduring parental responsibility. This ensures that they become the full legal parents of the child and have every right and responsibility of a biological parent. However, the child has no amendments to any documents such as birth certificates, no name changes, etc. They also retain links to their past and natural families where safe and appropriate.

Parental responsibility is different to guardianship in that it cannot be overturned, and is as final as

adoption, so cases where straight guardianship wouldn't be best are catered for. Also, if the child wishes they can use their legal parent's surname at school, sporting clubs, etc if THEY wish.

Is there any reason why this wouldn't be a viable alternative to all adoptions as they stand now? What would be the pros and cons to adoptees, adoptive and natural parents?

I had an interesting and rather bizarre conversation a few days ago with a lady who had been turned down as a foster parent. Among other reasons known only to her family, she expressed surprise at the hoops people must jump through to foster or adopt a child (her words not mine) and believed that if there is "such a need for foster parents there shouldn't be so many rules".

She seemed to believe that it is unreasonable to ask foster parents to continue a child's therapy and take them to the school that they attend, in order to provide stability for them. She also felt that the assessment process is too vigorous.

It got me thinking as I often hear it said that if there is such a high demand for foster families, there should be less constraints on applicants.

Does the high need for foster/adoptive parents justify a near enough good enough approach? Or are children in foster care entitled to standards that are as high as the current process allows? What, if any areas of the assessment process do you believe should be flexible?

For any who may not know, respite care is where foster parents care for children in care if their usual foster parents need a break.

I've always been in two minds about this, I recognise that fostering can get extremely stressful at times and I realise that it's far better to seek temporary help than to risk not coping with the child/ren. However, I also feel that from the child's point of view it is yet another home, another set of strangers, another family to fit into, etc and can just unsettle them even further.

What are your thoughts around respite care for

1) A foster carer who is ill, under extreme pressure etc and wanting a break, and

2) The foster family going on a holiday or break away without the child/ren they are fostering?

What was the minimum age difference required between you and the prospective foster/adopted child?

When I was first approved I was 24 and was able to foster a child no older than 8. I'm just wondering if the requirements change depending on where you live (I'm an Aussie), which state, needs of the child etc?

Whatever your feelings about your own adoption, and adoptions in general, happen to be, what factors do you feel influence this?

Specifically, when dealing with the grief and loss of adoption, do factors such as the openness of your afamily, access to bfamily, access to your own hereditary information etc impact how severely affected you are by adoption?

Do you think an adopted child who is given access to his/her family information, contact with relatives, and has a very open adoptive family who readily discusses their adoption with them is more likely to be secure and well balanced?

Thank you for your thoughts!

I'm astounded at the number of questions on this board asking unqualified strangers what to do when their dog is showing serious signs of illness. While I can understand asking for advice if nothing is seriously wrong, when a dog is obviously sick what do people expect strangers on the internet to be able to do?

Why own a dog if you know you are/will be unable to afford even basic vet care?

I can't get over the number of questions I see about fostering or adopting from foster care, but people don't want those kids who "will stab my kids, or beat me up, or have a smart mouth, or fail school or......"

Seriously, does the general public hold the belief that kids are in foster care because they're bad?

How can we dispel the myths about foster children?

I found this on my news headlines:

http://www.motherandbaby.com.au/ContentItem.aspx?C...

What are your thoughts about the ethics of this 'raffle'?

By this, I mean do you think a PAP has a greater responsibility to research and educate themselves on child development, adoption issues, childhood trauma, some very basic child psychology, etc?

Obviously a large part of parenting is instinct and common sense, but given the nature of adoption should they be better prepared *theoretically* than a natural parent, in order to better understand and support their child?

It's been a long time since we had a really inventive troll on the adoption board. If they're going to spend (waste) time making up tall tales, can't they at least make 'em good?

PQ: What is your role in the adoption triad?

In that fantasy land where adoptions were rare and birth certificates weren't falsified, would you rather see:

a) An amended birth certificate listing the adopters as parents, with an OBC issued and available to the child from birth.

b) The OBC issued with a straightforward adoption certificate or similar legal document which lists the adoption and adoptive parents' details.

Can you please give your reasons for your choice? Thanks.

I found this article online after reading about it in today's paper:

http://hoydenabouttown.com/20100305.7302/wa-govern...

Do you think the rest of the states will follow suit? And does this give natural mothers in other parts of the world hope that they too will one day receive an apology?

Do you think this is enough, or should the government do more? And any other thoughts you may have.....

I was reading through some answers to an earlier question along these lines, and I realised that I often refer to my son's parents as his real parents.

Generally I just call them Mum and Dad but if I'm differentiating for other people I'll often say 'his real parents'. It's not any reflection of my feelings for my son, or our relationship, it just seems the simplest way to differentiate for other people sometimes :)

Your thoughts on this?

We're planning on getting married towards the end of the year, October/November. I don't know where to get started on the planning.

We only want a very small wedding, 30-40 people tops, and it's going to be pretty casual, so I thought there wouldn't be a lot to plan, but it's getting more confusing by the day, lol.

What are all the things I need to think about and in what order should I organise them?

I've got left over garlic mashed potatoes which I'm going to make into potato cakes...so what is good to have them with?

Some recipes would be great if you've got them :)

I'm going to say at least 3 a day, possibly more on weekends.

Your guess?

Mine is "How much $$$ do you get to be a foster parent" or any varient of it.

Which one is guaranteed to rub you the wrong way every time?