How should I handle this? My ex owes almost $4,000 in child support.?

Question

Ok, I have a major flaw and that is that I tend to be "too nice."  My ex, like many others, lost his job last year and I quit getting payments as of the end of January.  

He told me he was going to mail in payments and even asked for the address.  Since he was current as of the end of last year, he got to claim our daughter on his taxes.  I thought, for sure, he'd send a good size payment to catch some of this up, but he never did.  Instead, my daughter told me all about the trip(s) to Kings Island they went on while she was there for the weekend.

Around the first of April, he told me he'd just started a new job.  / When I hadn't gotten anything as of June, I asked him about it again.  He told me he'd been catching up other bills and would have a w/h order started that month. / In August, I asked him about it again and he told me he'd have it done on his next check.

Finally, in October, he told me that changed employers and would turn it in that week.  Finally, I got a payment a few days later.  In November, I got the same amount.  Only one payment for each month, more than the weekly amount, but less than the monthly amount; but, still better than nothing.

Now, I'm not sure what's going on.  I haven't gotten a payment since November and he will not respond when I email him asking him about it.  Needless to say, I'm tired of being ignored and lied to.

I've been trying to think about our daughter and I don't want her to have to see him go to jail.  If he loses his license, that would end up causing problems with her visitation since he lives a few hours away.  I just don't know how to handle this anymore.

teach · Accepted Answer

Call your child support agency. They will tell you what you have to do to have them register your order with them. Then they will take care of it. At the same time, send him a certified letter (proof that you send it) to his address with the total arrears he owes and tell him if he doesnt start paying the full monthly amount plus something to catch up, you are filing with the state. It will take a while for the state to get you set up...sometimes a few months for payments to start so wont hurt to try a letter while you are waiting...

Also, they dont put people in jail. They have court dates a few times and give them chances to come up with payment plans. If they dont do the payment plan, back to court again....after a few times then they will suspend the license. There are MANY opportunities before jail.

M. Helman · Answer

If you have a court order stating the amount of money he is supposed to pay in support, then you can file a Petition for Contempt of the Support Order (you don't need an attorney but you can use one). The fact that he is workiing will mean that the court will attach his wages for the present support order as well as add something in addition to cover the amount of money he is in arrears. Eventually he will pay the arrears and that portion of the support order will be dropped. If you don't have a court support order but you do have an "agreement in writing" then you should file that agreement with the court and then it becomes court enforceable. If he is found in contempt he can be fined and/or jailed. You have to stop being the nice one and begin to play hardball. Afterall, you are the one looking out for your child and must be proactive. Otherwise, he'll continue to run all over you and your child's future too.

Citygurl · Answer

This is all assuming you have court ordered support payments - He was given a chance to pay it on his own, since he is so far in arrears they will order a payroll deduction. That is usually the next step.  He would have to skip out on that in order to end up have his license taken.  And even if he does, you can only do so much before you have to let him make these mistakes on his own.  He knows the consequences of not paying and he is choosing to ignore them. You can't hold his hand forever.

mommyoftwo53 · Answer

You can take him back to court with his new job income and the fact that he's $4,000 behind. Just because you report him for being behind does not mean he'll go to jail or lose his license. That is usually a last resort if it ever happens. The judge can set-up a new agreement with the payments he's behind integrated with it. Also, get them to take it directly out of his paycheck so that he doesn't have a choice but to pay.

seahawkone · Answer

Turn him over to the state child support enforcement. Better now than when he owes 10 or 20k. Now he'll be able to work out payments. If you let it go on. It will get to the point the amount owed is to overwhelming. My wife had the same problem with her ex. He just resolved the issue and his youngest son will turn 25 next month.

V · Answer

You go to court, they will automatically deduct it from his paychecks, if he does this he will not go to jail. He obviously spends what he wants and gives you whatever is left over. He has lied over and over, I can not believe you fell for the tax money to catch up bit, he didn't use that money to catch up, or you would have gotten child support. He can ignore you all he wants, but a court date he cannot.

But Inside I&#39;m Screaming · Answer

Are you not going throught the court system for child support?  If not, you should be.  For both your protection and his.  That way it eliminates the 'he said, she said' part of it, and makes you both be responsible.  If he loses his license, he has no one to blame but himself.

Anonymous · Answer

contact your attorney.

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How should I handle this? My ex owes almost $4,000 in child support.?

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