New moms: What do you wish you had known before your baby was born?

I wish I'd had known...

--You will be a basketcase the first month (or so). I cried for no reason. Just hormones.

--Receiving blankets are not a necessity. I have a ton of them and rarely used them.

--Breastfeeding is alot of work. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't work out.

--Everyone will think they are better at raising your child then you are. Even random people will give you advise. You are the parent, don't forget that - do what you feel comfortable with.

Here are the first things I learned shortly after my daughter was born, that I wish I was more prepared for:

-You can bleed A LOT after giving birth, and pass scary looking clots. I bled like crazy for the first 6 weeks and passed a clot the size of a plum. I just about passed out!

-The first month is the hardest. You won't get much sleep, you will feel like a zombie full of raging hormones and probably cry for no reason. But just remember it doesn't last forever, even though at the time it feels like it will never end.

-Babies cry and sometimes there is nothing you can do. You just try your best to comfort them, make sure they are fed and changed... but sometimes they just cry, and cry, and cry. It doesn't mean you are doing something wrong. They are babies, and babies cry.

-You go through WAY more laundry than you think. I thought my baby could wear the same outfit for a day. WRONG. I changed her about 4 times a day as a newborn. Between the spit up and leaky diapers (because I didn't know HOW to put diapers on properly yet) you will be changing their clothes very often.

-Breastfeeding is hard, especially at the beginning. I wanted nothing more than to breastfeed and was POSITIVE during my entire pregnancy that I could do it. Once my baby was born, the nurses at the hospital kept telling me different ways to do it and my nipples just got too raw and sore, that I gave up after only 3 weeks. Remember that you will need support from knowledgeable people but if you are getting different advice from everyone out there, do what YOU feel is best.

-Remember, YOU are this baby's mom. You will hear different advice from everyone you meet on how you should raise your child. Just follow your instincts and know that you are doing the right thing!

- You are so crazy the first month, or so. Hormones cause a lot of problems!

- Cutting a babies nails the first time can be the most scary thing you have ever done.

- Sometimes babies cry for absolutely no reason, and you can begin to be overwhelmed. Put the baby some where safe leave the room get a glass of water take a deep breath and try to console them again.

- Taking a shower will become difficult and very quick!

- A baby swing can be your best friend.

- Swaddling is ALOT harder than it looks.

- You may feel very lonely and isolated.

- Breastfeeding can be challenging, get the proper help and support.

- That no matter how many times you check on them in the middle of night you will still go to bed worrying about there well being IE are they too warm, too cold, are they breathing, are they comfortable, etc.

I am not pregnant yet but my husband and I talk about this a lot. We are leaning on letting it be a surprise. I have found that my friends that have had babies and knew the gender mostly received clothes as gifts at their showers and most are in newborn to 3 months sizes so their is no way they can wear all those things. I have had a friend or two not know the gender and they received more of a variety of gifts like diapers, wipes, onesies, bibs, bottles, pacies, bathing items, diapter pails, gift cards, money, carseat, highchair, safety items, personal care items, etc. It wasn't just one pink dress after another that they were opening. So either way it would work. I thought also about finding out and us keeping it a surprise from everyone else. That way we could be prepared in private but it would be a surprise to everyone else. Who knows what we will actually choose when the time comes though? Some of my friends have told everyone the gender but kept the name a surprise. That gives a little bit extra excitement. Best wishes!

That I was going to have severe PPD.

That my son was going to have severe reflux

That I was going to be so over-protective of him.

I never used gowns or mittens which a lot of other mothers seem to find the best thing in the world.

Gosh I can't even explain to you all of the surprises that come with being a new parent. There's no way you will ever have everything covered until it happens to you and you learn what to do (& believe me you do learn what to do). Everyone parents differently and every single child is different so just take advice as you go once your baby is born but mostly go with your mommy instinct.

I should add because this something that just recently I learned... introducing a spoon for the first few times = pure hell.

Lol I was shocked about how loud a little 6 week old baby girl could burp, fart and grunt lol even louder than I could. So wished I got a heads up on that. But it is very cute anyway lol

Also, I wish someone told me how red babies faces can get, how many odd faces they can pull and how long then can grunt for before finally having a bowel movement lol. I was scared thinking my baby was constipated and could not understand why she would grunt so much when her poo was so runny lol, ahha but apparently it is normal. If someone had told me, wold have saved me a lot of worry lol

That you feel isolated and lonely alot. I was going through a period of this a few months back and when I asked friends and family they all said "oh, I remember feeling that way all the time" All the books talk about baby blues and depression but they don't give you alot of examples of what you may be feeling besides guilt, hurting yourself or baby, loss of appetite, irritability and so forth. The books and most of the advice I got was so text book scenario's, well none of us moms fit into a textbook.

That it is OK to hold/carry your child as much as you want to! I had a VERY "fussy" 1st baby and so many people told me - "let her cry it out", "she has to learn" , "you'll spoil her" etc. Finally when she was about 4 months old and I was at my wits end I ran into a lovely and very knowledgeable retired midwife who simply said to me "hold her - as much and for as long as you want to". Best advice ever! I got a couple of different types of slings and from then on we were basically inseparable for then next 3 months and she was as calm as they come. As she got older and more interested in the world around her she was happy to spend increasing amounts of time away from me and she is now a very happy and well adjusted 5 year old. I carried my second basically from the moment he was born and we were both happy and relaxed....

That once you have a child of your own, you realize how bad of a parent certain people are and how horrid and evil alot of other children are.

That sometimes babies wont poop for days at a time, and it makes them miserable.

Sometimes babies will cry forever and when you think that it wont stop they smile at you and it warms your heart.

That babies/children are cute, but theyre hard work.. it isnt all about dressing them up in cute outfits and showing them off. (i already knew this one but I wish other people knew it before they have a baby)

I wish I had known

Babies can't just fall asleep on their own to begin with

Babies can't burp on their own

Babies need to be moisturised ( I didn't know their skin dried out!)

Sometimes, they just want to be cuddled

To bed bed linen in a more convenient place, because it did need to be changed at 4am oh so often

To not be scared of doing nappies up 'too tight' ( this would have prevented many accidents!)

That breastfeeding IS hard and you DO need support to do it

You lose ALL modesty whilst in labour :P

:)

J

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