Do you think this is fair at all?

If this seems long, I would like to apologize beforehand. However this situation has really been eating at me for a couple of days, and I don't know what else to do.

My husband and I moved to PA almost a year ago for many different reasons, but the main one was that we got evicted from our last home, and had a MAJOR falling out with his parents (a completely different story). I'm from PA, and for a short time my mother (bless her heart) took us in for a short time until we could get jobs, and on our feet. We also have two daughters that mean 'the world' tomy in-laws, and the transition was beyond difficult for everybody.

My daughters communicate with them almost on a daily basis via online chat with webcam, or over he phone which I have absolutely no problem with that. About a week ago, my eldest Melody came to me just gushing with excitement because my in-laws are wanting to take an almost 12 hour drive from IA to come pick her up, and let her spend about a month with them over the summer. Melody politely asked me if that was ok, and I told her I would talk to her father about it.

He thought it was a great idea, but then he asked if they would be taking Peyton, my youngest daughter, as well. I never gave that a thought but he agreed that having Melody going was fine just as long as they would like to take Peyton also. So two nights ago, I talk to my MIL and started making arrangments and asking her when they would be coming. And when I asked the question if they were going to take Peyton along, there was a long pause....She had the NERVE to say, "Well we don't have enough room in this house for her to stay for a month, plus she has a 'history' of causing problems". Thank God the girls were nearby because I was just about to go completely ballistic on this woman. I don't get into confrontations with my girls around for the most obvious reasons, but I can say that comment hurt so bad it felt like I was slapped in the face.

Peyton was diagnosed with autism, ODD (oppressive-defiant disorder), and ADHD. Before she was diagnosed, she was completely out of control. She completely destructive with everything. We would get her a new toy and it would be broken the next day. She wouldn't do simple commands, she would pick fights with her cousins, and other things it was just really bad. My husband and I went to see a therapist to see if it would help, but it didn't. The last resort was to put her on medication...which seemed to work for awhile. But then all of a sudden the medication seemed to quit working for her, and she was worse than before. This was about the time when we got evicted from our home, and had that falling-out. The attempts to help Peyton even more seemed to be fruitless because I don't think the specialist was doing a really good job.

The move was hard on everybody, but it hit Peyton the hardest. Any major change or transition in the past was very difficult for her to deal with...this has to do with the autism and other disorders. Shortly after our family settled in, we sought out and found a really AWESOME specialist to help Peyton. Ever since she began seeing this specialist, I'd like to think that Peyton is a completely different little girl. She was put on Adderal that seems to be working very well with her. Her destructive behavior seems almost non-existant anymore, she really likes to take care of her things, she shows wonderful affection towards my husband, myself, and her sister, and she's at the top of her Kindergarten class. Plus Peyton LOVES her specialist. Everything that was going on with her before seems to have all but gone away. Granted she has her days and moods as well as many of us do, but she's just a completely different and absolutely wonderful, very intelligent little girl. As long as she continues taking her medication and she gets that therapy, she's beginning to just blossom into a wonderful person. I know it seems like I'm bragging, but it's the proud parent in me I guess.

Now here's where it gets destructive. There were times when I've noticed how different my daughters are treated when they talk to their grandparents. Our computer is in the living room, but I try to provide privacy for their conversation. In particular I notice that when Melody is talking live with the webcam, how my MIL reactions are. When Melody has some good news to share, my MIL seems to gush with excitement. Peyton likes to join in with her sister, and sometimes she wants to say something. How my MIL reacts with her, it seems like she's saying, "Yeah sure, whatever", or she seems indifferent. That observation has been eating at me for quite some time as well.

So here's my dilemma. I don't believe it's the least bit fair that they would like to spend time with Melody, but want to practically have nothing to do with Peyton. They don't actually know her from who she was from before. If my MIL would at least take the time to actually have a conversation with Peyton then maybe thin