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Do you think this is fair at all?
If this seems long, I would like to apologize beforehand. However this situation has really been eating at me for a couple of days, and I don't know what else to do.
My husband and I moved to PA almost a year ago for many different reasons, but the main one was that we got evicted from our last home, and had a MAJOR falling out with his parents (a completely different story). I'm from PA, and for a short time my mother (bless her heart) took us in for a short time until we could get jobs, and on our feet. We also have two daughters that mean 'the world' tomy in-laws, and the transition was beyond difficult for everybody.
My daughters communicate with them almost on a daily basis via online chat with webcam, or over he phone which I have absolutely no problem with that. About a week ago, my eldest Melody came to me just gushing with excitement because my in-laws are wanting to take an almost 12 hour drive from IA to come pick her up, and let her spend about a month with them over the summer. Melody politely asked me if that was ok, and I told her I would talk to her father about it.
He thought it was a great idea, but then he asked if they would be taking Peyton, my youngest daughter, as well. I never gave that a thought but he agreed that having Melody going was fine just as long as they would like to take Peyton also. So two nights ago, I talk to my MIL and started making arrangments and asking her when they would be coming. And when I asked the question if they were going to take Peyton along, there was a long pause....She had the NERVE to say, "Well we don't have enough room in this house for her to stay for a month, plus she has a 'history' of causing problems". Thank God the girls were nearby because I was just about to go completely ballistic on this woman. I don't get into confrontations with my girls around for the most obvious reasons, but I can say that comment hurt so bad it felt like I was slapped in the face.
Peyton was diagnosed with autism, ODD (oppressive-defiant disorder), and ADHD. Before she was diagnosed, she was completely out of control. She completely destructive with everything. We would get her a new toy and it would be broken the next day. She wouldn't do simple commands, she would pick fights with her cousins, and other things it was just really bad. My husband and I went to see a therapist to see if it would help, but it didn't. The last resort was to put her on medication...which seemed to work for awhile. But then all of a sudden the medication seemed to quit working for her, and she was worse than before. This was about the time when we got evicted from our home, and had that falling-out. The attempts to help Peyton even more seemed to be fruitless because I don't think the specialist was doing a really good job.
The move was hard on everybody, but it hit Peyton the hardest. Any major change or transition in the past was very difficult for her to deal with...this has to do with the autism and other disorders. Shortly after our family settled in, we sought out and found a really AWESOME specialist to help Peyton. Ever since she began seeing this specialist, I'd like to think that Peyton is a completely different little girl. She was put on Adderal that seems to be working very well with her. Her destructive behavior seems almost non-existant anymore, she really likes to take care of her things, she shows wonderful affection towards my husband, myself, and her sister, and she's at the top of her Kindergarten class. Plus Peyton LOVES her specialist. Everything that was going on with her before seems to have all but gone away. Granted she has her days and moods as well as many of us do, but she's just a completely different and absolutely wonderful, very intelligent little girl. As long as she continues taking her medication and she gets that therapy, she's beginning to just blossom into a wonderful person. I know it seems like I'm bragging, but it's the proud parent in me I guess.
Now here's where it gets destructive. There were times when I've noticed how different my daughters are treated when they talk to their grandparents. Our computer is in the living room, but I try to provide privacy for their conversation. In particular I notice that when Melody is talking live with the webcam, how my MIL reactions are. When Melody has some good news to share, my MIL seems to gush with excitement. Peyton likes to join in with her sister, and sometimes she wants to say something. How my MIL reacts with her, it seems like she's saying, "Yeah sure, whatever", or she seems indifferent. That observation has been eating at me for quite some time as well.
So here's my dilemma. I don't believe it's the least bit fair that they would like to spend time with Melody, but want to practically have nothing to do with Peyton. They don't actually know her from who she was from before. If my MIL would at least take the time to actually have a conversation with Peyton then maybe thin
4 AnswersFamily1 decade agoQuestion about my grandfather and his revoked license?
If this seems long, I'd like to apologize, but there seems to be a real problem.
My grandfather is 85 years old with advanced dementia. He's been is several fender-benders over the past three years, and it seems like not matter what we do, we can't take this man off the road. My family really concerned about his well-being and for others in case he does get into another fender bender, and seriously hurts or even kills himself or someone else.
The last wreck he was in, my mother was driving home from work and saw that my grandfather (her dad) was involved. She told the police officer on the scene that he's been through several wrecks, and she wondered if there was any way to get his license revoked. The officer told her that the only way he could get it revoked was to get the state involved. So she inquired about the revocation through the state, and it seems to take a very long time for that motion to come through.
When my grandfather got the letter from the state in the mail, he blew a gasket. After some arm twisting (not literally), and squabbles between him, my mom and my uncle, my grandfather decided to take this to court. Before this all happened, my grandfather had some tests done for his cognitive abilities. The tests came back showing that he has poor cognitive judgement, and it was recommended that he should not be driving a vehicle.
On the court date, the judge told my mom that he would need a second opinion froma doctor about his cognitive impairment(s). During that time he was asked by the state to turn in his drivers license. He did that but he was STILL driving his car. It got to the point where my uncle had to disable his car by taking the battery out of it so he couldn't drive.
Yesterday my grandfather and uncle got into a huge fight, and it turns out that my uncle put the battery back into the car, and of course my grandfather is driving again without a license. We can't take the car from him because that's considered theft, and we can't sell the car because it's not in our mom's or uncle's name. My grandfather threatened my uncle with the police for vandalizing his car for taking the battery out. After the wrecks, the license revocation, and the second opinon from the doctor, it just seems like we can't get this man off the road.
We are not trying to be mean to him, even though he thinks we are. But we're just concerned about the fact that he could seriously injure or kill himself or someone else if he gets into a wreck. My grandfather also has a bad heart, and we're afraid of what might happen if he were to get pulled over by the police and he didn't have his license. My mom doesn't want to threaten him with the police because we just don't want to scare him. Is there anything else we can possibly do? If so, should the police get involved at this point now if we know that he's driving? Would this be the matter for the police in his community to handle, or should this be handled by the state police? Thank you for taking the time to read my question. I hope there's something more we as a family can do.
9 AnswersLaw Enforcement & Police1 decade agoAs if this isn't sad enough (or sick enough)...?
Have any of you heard about the 7 month old baby found in a closed box, and was left there for 12 hours? Go to this link:
http://news.yahoo.com/vid/16491237
Honestly I think this is just as bad for leaving a baby in a dumpter after it was born. I'm just glad the baby is in good condition. What's your opinion on this?
7 AnswersParenting1 decade agoParents who have kids that have December Birthdays?
Do you find it difficult when to celebrate your child's birthday so close to Christmas? My daughter Peyton's birthday is on December 10, and on her birthday we celebrate with a cake a a couple of small gifts. At Christmas we want to give her more, but sometimes it's difficult to determine what to give as a birthday gift, or a Christmas gift. Just curious to know what you do.
15 AnswersParenting1 decade agoAre there ways to make my hair grow faster?
I'd like to have long hair, and I've been trying to grow it out for almost two years. I'm becoming frustrated because it doesn't seem to want to grow anymore past a certain point. I've had it long before, but I've never seen it grow at such a slow rate.
Is it true that if I take prenatal vitamins that it may speed up the growth? Or are there other products out there that can help with it?
Thank you.
6 AnswersHair1 decade agoAre there ways to make my hair grow faster?
I'd like to have long hair, and I've been trying to grow it out for almost two years. I'm becoming frustrated because it doesn't seem to want to grow anymore past a certain point. I've had it long before, but I've never seen it grow at such a slow rate.
Is it true that if I take prenatal vitamins that it may speed up the growth? Or are there other products out there that can help with it?
Tank you.
4 AnswersHair1 decade agoWhat are some of the funniest things your kids ever said?
My youngest daughter is well known for some of the funniest answers when she's asked a question. Just the other day she said this at dinner, "Mommy, I know what firefighters do...they fire people, and I want to be one when I grow up!". I just thought that was the cutest and funniest thing she's said.
What are some really funny things your kids have said?
12 AnswersParenting1 decade agoIs it possible for an eight year old to start getting acne?
Last night I noticed these little bumps on my daughter's face that resembled acne. Some bumps were small, but then some bumps looked like they had a whitehead. I thought it might have been bug bites, but they were only on her cheeks and not on the rest of her face. Could this be a sign that she can start her period?
1 AnswerSkin Conditions1 decade agoI can't convince my husband to see a doctor...Help!!?
My husband has been complaining about a lot of stomach problems lately. I know some of the signs of a bleeding stomach ulcer (dark tarry and bloody stools, excess gas, frequent severe heartburn, etc). I'm really worried that if this continues, that this will get so bad it'll get him very sick. If it does get bad enough, can the ulcer turn into an aneurism (sorry for spelling)?
I'm having the biggest problem trying to get him to see a physician. I've asked him nicely, my mother is concerned and she tried talking him into it, as well as a couple of other friends...he's being hard-headed and stubborn. He says that he's afraid to do that because it may cause him to miss work. I would rather him miss work than to have him get seriously ill. Is there anything else I can do?
7 AnswersMarriage & Divorce1 decade agoWhen is the best age to talk to your child about sex?
I have an eight year old daughter, and it seems like eveytime I turn around, I'm hearing about these young girls..sometimes as young as 11 or 12 getting pregnant. Don't you think that sex ed. should start getting taught as early as the 5th grade?
12 AnswersParenting1 decade ago