Why is my grandson biting?

Question

My grandson is almost 10 months old and he recently started biting and getting a little aggressive.  When he bites, his mother sort of pops his mouth (softly) and says a very stern "no" to him.  He just looks at her, then smiles.  She repeats to him "no".  Once it happened and she softly bit him back and said "no biting" and he laughed at her like they were playing a game.  He's got six sharp little teeth and the biting leaves marks and it hurts!

He also is starting to pick up objects and hit people with them.  Not all of the time, but sometimes.  He was in bed with my daughter while she was laying down and he picked up a tiny hammer and hit her in the nose with it.  Not hard enough to do any damage, but hard enough to make her say "ouch"!!  Again, he didn't get it and smiled and thought it was a game.

What can my daughter do to prevent this?  And, why is he acting out like this with the biting?  I can give you a little background on his homelife.  My daughter is an army wife and her husband has been deployed since October so she is pretty stressed out at home.  I think that her baby feels the stress and maybe that's his way of acting out at her stress because he feels it, too.  She's a very loving and patient mother, however, and she tends to all of his needs and doesn't yell at him when she does get frustrated.

So, we're just trying to figure out why this little man is biting!  Any help and/or suggestions will be much appreciated.

mama4-ever · Accepted Answer

I'm the mother of five kids, and some are more aggressive that way than others and we don't know why.  My two boys are much more aggressive than my girls ever were.  Most kids bite at some point, and it's generally either from teething and it just feels good, or frustration, which usually comes with the older "toddler" age.  My 1 year old has bit me a couple of times on my shoulder, and he too thinks it's funny.  I break him of this habit by saying sternly "that hurts mommy" and tell him that I will put him down if he does it again...I began that at 10 months and he knows exactly what it means.  Babies are smart.  I really doubt that him hitting mom with a toy hammer is intended to be "hurtful' either.  He is acting out a very normal thing to do with a hammer.  He just knows to hit with it.  I would just remind him gently that "it hurts" and say "ouch", and just be consistant with that.  Tell him or show him what to hit with the hammer.  He will learn quickly.  Try buying something soft and rubber to bite on when he starts that too, like some soft beads or something cold.

Ivy has Twin Boys! · Answer

He doesn't understand that it hurts.

I have heard of people taking their kid to therapy for years to stop biting... and do you know what finally cured it?

Biting them back. It only takes a couple times.

They really don't understand that they are hurting someone. They cannot make the connection verbally, they just can't. And if you let it continue, it will get worse.

Hitting them for it makes no connection, yelling at them makes no connection, time outs make no connection, sad faces make no connection.

Bite them back a few times (so it hurts but don't break skin) and they will soon stop.

Now with the hitting you should just leave the room. Turn around from the baby and walk away. But the biting is serious, and must be stopped quickly. And biting back on their hand etc. can't damage them like hitting possibly could. 

This is simply what works. If you don't bite them back, it can take a long long time to fix this problem. Years. If you bite them back the average time to fix is 3 times.

The biting back works because you can cause them equal pain to what they do you. You immediately repeat the action they did to you on them, make a sad face and say "biting hurts". It doesn't work with hitting, which is really about force of a blow.

You can see some people on here said "eventually they get it". Well eventually isn't good enough with biting. They can really hurt another child!!! It isn't something that is "cute" or that you can play around with. You can end up not being able to take your child to the playground, on playdates, to preschool, or to daycare. They DO NOT tolerate biters.

? · Answer

Alot of little ones bite and hit. It is perfectly normal, they are simply testing the boundaries. Homelife isnt a cause, its just part of growing up. They are too little to understand the implications of their actions and must be taught what is and is not correct. What you have to do is make it very clear to him it is not acceptable. Her tone needs to change when she says no to him so he understands this is not acceptable behaviour. Also if he laughs make sure her face expresses she is not playing and she should repeat no that is not funny. Biting back and hitting back often ends up with repeat bitings and hittings, the child sees mummy do it so they figure it is a game. Dont worry, its just a stage of babyhood and it is normal, he isnt acting out. Just being a bubby :)

firebirddogg · Answer

well shes doing what i would of be doing.  Only thing i would add is after mom taps his mouth or bites him back and he smiles then have her take him to a "time out" spot.  That would show him its not a game.
All kids bite.  Were having a little issue with that with my step kid now.  Hes 15 months now.  He doesn't bite as much as he used too, but he still bites on his toys in that.
Just have her keep doing what shes doing.  sooner or later he is going to know that it don't feel good.
Another thing to try doing is too, is that if he does bite just take him straight to "time out."  stick him in a empty crib or a corner facing away from everyone else, and see what that does as well.

KitKat · Answer

because he can -tell him NO & remove him from whatever he is doing.  anticipate his needs quicker so that he doesn't become frustrated & try to give him language.  speak to him in your native language & try sign language.

Anonymous · Answer

because he is a vampire?

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Why is my grandson biting?

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