I need help, I went through my boyfriend/fiance's iphone and found some painful surprises...?

You will not be happy from here on out. You should walk away now - as hard as it seems, it's the best decision. You will live with this guy always curious about that text, call or email he just received. It can drive you nuts!

Been there and done that. It's a waste of time. It is good that you have stumbled across this now so you can do something before it is too late. Yes, we should not be going through their things, but it is the same way I found out and was able to leave, and I am glad I did. And although it is difficult to do, you deal with it for a few weeks, get over it will be glad later you did it. I contemplated the whole "pity stay" I'm too far into this struggle, but in the end it just was not worth it. I'm with a wonderful person now and it feels good not wondering what is going on in his inbox.

Ok I know exactly how you feel right now. I went through the exact same situation, except that I was already married to him, he had never shown signs of infidelity. Not until I went through his email and found messages from random women on his messenger, and random phone calls late at night caught my attention. Is really up to you, If you decide to forgive him (*like I did*) you will live with all this for the rest of your life. Bugging you daily, everyday you will think the worse. You will have no trust towards him at all, and every time he gets a text message you will get curious, paranoid and you will check his phone daily.(*is exactly what I do*) You will not be able to love him because of the fear of getting hurt that way again. It will basically wear you out emotionally. I think you deserve better, alot better. Don't do it,don't marry him, for your own good. Worry about you, your self esteem, your happiness. (*I guarantee you, that you will never look at him the same again*) And when it comes to not trusting him, I think, if he had nothing to hide he would have nothing to fear. Don't beat yourself up for checking on him, you need to know if you are getting back stabbed by the man that is supposed to love you.....I forgave my husband and moved on, somewhat, still I worry and stress over it, but he has done well, I set some rules and he follows them. I guess I was just too late, I was already married, I have to deal. Good luck.

I feel your pain and I am sorry you're going through this. I can speak from experience when I say you two have major trust issues. He's doing things behind your back. You're doing things behind his. You need to tell him you were snooping. If you don't, he'll likely deny there's anything going on with anybody else. Though, I'm going to be honest hun and tell you that he's fallen into these patterns because of past relationships and they aren't likely to change anytime soon. You say you guys are better at communicating but clearly something is amiss and you guys have more to talk about.

My recommendation is to at least break off the engagement until you guys can work this stuff out. Don't let yourself marry somebody that doesn't respect you. Hopefully this situation gets worked out, but if it doesn't you still need to realize that the most important thing is your long term happiness. Good luck girlie!

tooth cavity = 8 childbirth = N/A although people compare the pain of Kidney Stones to childbirth, so that pain is a 10! Horrible pain! being amputated = Mentally, a 9. being severely burnt = Probably a 10. falling from a tall building = 0, because you would probably be unconciouss. getting run over by a vehicle = Probably a 10. getting a miscarriage from an unborn child = N/A getting told that your spouse/husband or child has died from cancer = 9. asking out your crush but being told that they do not fancy you back = 8. being told that you cannot have children physically = 7. finding out your partner has cheated on you = 10. being verbally abused by someone = 9.

I do not see how there can ever be trust in this relationship, and without trust a marriage is doomed to failure. You did wrong to invade his privacy by snooping through his personal mail, but that is done and what you found should show you that you must move out of this relationship immediately.

You said if you leave him he could not live with it, but what about you if you stay can you live with his behavior? This man will always be a cheater and if that is what you can deal with then go for it, if you want a different type of mate get out of this relationship immediately.

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well,let me say I'm the guy who walked in HIS shoe's.I may not be the best help but I can give you some insight on what he might be thinking.but first how long have you two been dating as more than friends?I'm guessing 6 months based on the text you found.first I got to say he very bold about his cheating.these girls it seems have seen you so that means he's playing you close.I did the same to my girl and a lot worse of the same general nature.In my option there could be two things going on here.one,he could truly not be satisfied sexually (but love you all the same) and is finding it hard to stop cheating.or it could be the second,he has something going on mentally and catching and sleeping with women is how he feeds this need or addiction.but he does loves love you,he just don't know how to stop his self.me myself I stopped but only after getting caught(but I did have my reasons for cheating not that it made it right).later other problems arose because she couldn't or wouldn't let it go,the pain just ate her up year after year until now she hates me! we just broke up on the 20th and on the 10th before then and so on and so on.three years and and all she can remember is the ONE time I cheated when she told me she didnt want me anymore.she let her pride stop her from forgiving me and the pain just ate her heart like a worm.now it's two years later and I love her but she cant stop secretly dating behind my back and what I did years ago is her excuse.If you love him talk to him,see where his mind is at,it aint always simple why a man will cheat when he has exactly what he wants at home(yes we do that) sometimes it's emotional,sometimes it can be a addiction.talk to him if your friends he'll trust you enuff to talk I hope.If you think its worth saving the relationship then try dont be afraid,but you must truely forgive him and he must forever stop.simple as that!!! I did stop instantly but she let it eat her up til she destroyed what we had:true love. people always say true love dont cheat! I say B@ll$hit people make mistakes,we are not lil bots following programs,we are flesh and blood with emotions and yes we do mess up time to time.If you love him kick him in the a$$ and make him man up and fly stright,but dont give up just yet! talk to him and try to fix whats wrong if you love him dont abandon him just cause he got a defect,love can fix it! but make sure he STOP what he been doing!!!!!mando no options!!!!! love is worth fighting for!!!!

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1. This is what you get when you stick your nose into some place it doesn't belong.

2. I don't think either you are this guy are ready for marriage.

Simple answer.

Your behaviour shows you do not trust him.

Move on