how do i learn to trust men again?

Question

i was in a relationship that was off and on for three years and he constantly cheated on me.. it was a manipulative and abusive relationship and i felt like i couldnt live without him so i would always come back.. i myself was not 100% faithful, there were times when i would find myself looking for someone to love me because i was empty with the guy i was with but couldnt leave.. now, 2 years later, im in a very serious relationship and i find myself not able to trust the guy im with even though he's never given me any reason to worry.. i feel like im taking out my anger and fear from my ex on this guy im with now [i dont have feelings for my ex, btw] and im scared if i dont get this under control he'll leave me. how do i leave the trust issues in the past?

? · Accepted Answer

I think, you will only be able to trust again if someone gives you a reason to do it. Wait for the right time to meet a guy who will give you reason to love and trust again. You can't force yourself to trust someone.

Shawn C · Answer

This often happens when a person doesn't give themselves adequate alone time before transitioning to a new relationship.

You said it's two years later, but what did you do in the between time to love yourself and get stronger? From personal experience it took me four years before I loved myself enough to trust someone new. Usually, the distrust is there because you haven't forgiven what happened in the past. You simply moved beyond it.

The safest way to keep your relationship is to keep the lines of communication open with your current boyfriend. Let him know that you are aware of how you are treating him and what efforts you are taking to make that change. Then follow through with making those efforts.

Confront your issues head-on so you can heal.

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how do i learn to trust men again?

2 Answers