I found out my dad physically abused me as a kid; He started up his verbal abuse, too....help?

1.)The entire system is broken. Listen those suckas( COPS ) are quick to pull you over and write you $250 Seatbelt Violation Ticket but when it comes to real important issues such as the Welfare and Safety of the children (our future politicians, servicemen, teachers, bio-engineers etc)...they dont do diddly squat...You children are our future law makers, astronauts, professors, scientist e.t.c. It's very important to help all youth even if their parents neglect them. It'll come back full circle...KARMA.

2.) Your mother..and I hate to say this needs just a much pyschological help as your father....Something cannot be right "up there"..Honestly.

3.) I don't feel comfortable with you in a group home. Nor Foster home..I think it may compound some of your issues. But try to get in contact with relatives...no stayin' with boyfriends or girlfriends neither...you may have an arguement and pretty soon you're back at home livin' with your ***** of a father.

4.) Stay with family until 18years of age.Go to college and remember not to allow this crap to repeat with your family.Thats If you do in the future decide to start a family, think of some the issues you faced growing up...verbal abuse, fear, hunger...dont recycle it on your kids.

-Its often said that your father is your first love...and you often later grow up to marry a man to mirror your father's traits...For cryin' out loud. Don't give that "sayin" any more power.

5.) Read Read Read Self Esteem/ Self Image Books...Work on this now...go to your local library and check out books....IF you don't do this now you'll be another statistic...Marrying or courting men just like they're father...Look at singer Rihanna.Repair the damage now!! Work on your self esteem....Print this out and keep this with you. When you are feeling down, you can refer back to the list. If you need any more assistance e-mail me ediblerainbow@rocketmail.com

There are two positions in this debate that I think are equally ignorant and wrong headed: 1. all spanking, no matter how it's done, is child abuse. The is stupid. Child abuse is a legally defined term and so long as spanking remains legal, it's not child abuse. It may be unnecessary, it may do more harm than good, it may be hypocritical, whatever. But it is not, by definition, child abuse. 2. Spanking is the only form of discipline, ergo if you don't spank, obviously you have out of control kids since theres no other way to discipline. Whether you choose to spank or not, whatever, but if it was outlawed tomorrow and you did not have the option and you couldn't figure out an effective alternative, then you suck at this whole parenting thing. All appearances to the contrary aside, most people are smart enough to see through ridiculous extremes.

Okay, first of all, I am SO sorry. My best friend had to grow up in the same way that you did, so I'm going to tell you what I told her.

Abuse is abuse. Emotional abuse can often leave a bigger scar than physical abuse. While you cannot do anything about what he says to you, you can control what you say to yourself.

Go get something to eat. When he yells at you and calls you names, answer him with the respect that he doesn't deserve, but make sure you say under your breath (let's say he says your too lazy to deserve to eat), "I deserve to eat more than you, you selfish fat bastard. "

Always lift yourself up. If you say for a minute "is he right?" you're letting him win.

Secondly, your mother is the type of mother that I hate to hear about. She plays the roll of "The Victim" so well, that she ignores what you and your brother are going through. That's just not right. Your mom is just as much as fault as your dad.

My family may have been dysfunctional, but when my dad beat me at age two, my mom dared him to hit me again. He never did. When he called me names, my mom kicked him out. When he called her a *****, my mom attacked.

I moved out of my house at 16 years old, I lived on the streets with friends, where ever until I found a cheap place of my own. It was the best thing I ever did helped me to respect myself and not to listen to the verbal abuse directed at me for many years. I am not saying that you should do this as it is very tough but standing on your own two feet is an option if things get really bad. I still managed to finish school and get a degree, now I am happily married and wouldn't change a thing.