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What do you think of my poem? :)?
Follow The Tree (Can You think of a better title?)
'ey, so what is real is up to you,
So dont change by others, just be “true”.
Don’t change because of them, the rest,
Change to be better, not for him, but for them; for the best.
Don’t ever believe it all, don’t be naïve,
Even doubt this poem; don’t you, want to succeed?
If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be you,
Life would be pointless, nothing worth to do.
What is grace, what is kind,
Show it to all, don’t get confined.
Just know If others act poorly, trying to be cool,
They are really nothing, just being a bunch of bull.
You are who you are, that promising tree,
Trim, don’t cut, and just know-
~
Whether fast or slow, just grow, just grow.
ANY critique/thoughts/advice is appreciated! :)
&read/compliment/give advice for my other poems i've posted if you want^^
Thank you Scott! :)
i can see what you mean~ but i disagree that it's a flaw, in the sense that it's a free verse poem. but you are right, leaving it open for reader's own interpretation would make it better. :D
5 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
It seems a little too spot on. Too direct. Also, it is just a little preachy.
Maybe hint at your meaning and then provide an example of what you're trying to say. Let readers imbue the work with their interpretation and their meaning. Let it be personal to them.
As it is, this just seems like a sort of sermon in meter.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I like it. Hope U have more poems to share with us!
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
Okay who are you?
