How do I let my anger out without being violent?

"I have envisioned slamming her head into a rock wall and his head into the freezer door." Honestly? IT's okay to THINK that.

I would suggest exercise to relinquish the anger, but I'll not be surprised if it happens again - the anger, that is - because every time you look at your husband and every time you look at this family member, the pain will happen.

I would find a support system - i.e. parents, a friend, a counselor, etc. to help you talk through your emotions and your husband deserves to be put on a system of accountability to gain your trust back and maintain the love he promised to you.

sorry this happened to you. i admire you for trying to work through it for the sake of your children. i know its tough, i have been through it myself. i also had a anger management problem. i can only tell you what worked for me. don't listen to other people do what you believe in your heart is right. now what i mean by this is some people will tell you to kick that sob out and never talk to your friend again so on and so forth. you make that decision yourself don't let others influence your decision. i fantasized about doing all sorts of bad things to my x and her lover but like yourself realized that would not be the adult thing to do. to curtail my anger i made sure i had some alone time, i went fishing, took a run, went bike riding. i basically cleared my head and enjoyed the moment, thought of nothing just kind of looked around, nature, the landscape, fish in the water, challenging myself to see if i could run further than i did yesterday. it really helped me clear all the bad thoughts out of my head. i also had this little fake voodoo doll that i would do stuff to (that was fun). if all else fails then see a counselor who specializes in marital and anger management problems. good luck hope this helps.

Take an activity that is high impact to let out the stress and study the art of insulting someone without them realizing it for a while

i personally prefer the shovel, it is one tool that can do 3 jobs, 1st job = knock them out so they don't scream, 2nd job = sever head from body, 3rd job = dig hole and bury bodies, 1 tool creates 1 piece of evidence instead of 3 or 4, and for 2 people, you still only need 1 shovel, good hunting ;)

There's nothing wrong with feeling that way after someone has hurt you deeply; you are only a human being, remember that. My advice for you is to write a journal, and write your feelings down on paper, write everything. They are your feelings, not a crime.

Just don't act on them!

Violence never works. But you can express your anger with words. Still you need to express these words very carefully mostly explaining how you feel. Anything more is counterproductive.

Take up boxing. Or anyway, some form of heavy exercise.

I would be finished with both of them, honestly.

I don't know, I kinda like your Solutions. Best not though, you don't want to go to jail. Take up yoga or buy a wii fit.

exercise, kickboxing,go to the batting cage and imagine the balls are their heads! good luck

i think you should talk it out and see if he really wants to be with you i mean its either you or her he needs to make up his mind