Dont want visitors at home when baby arrives....?

If you don't want them around then you don't want them around! you can't help your feelings.

That's fine and your baby comes first. But unfortunately you have to compromise in marriage too. They're your husband's parents so he's not going to be happy banning them outright. Perhaps say to hubby they can come once a week on a day chosen by you for a maximum time of maybe an hour or less. Then if they don't stick to it you'll be morally in the right to demand he stops them coming round full stop.

not wating visitors when the baby arrives at home is understandable seeing that you will be busy trying to get settled and not quite ready physically or mentally for a while lot of visiting. i dont think by requesting that they stick to the hospital visits until a few weeks after the baby gets home is unreasonable. anyone can understand you needing time to adjust, this is where you have to be the mom and put your foot down with people and enforce the boundaries as family members try to push the limits during this time.

the borowing money things should be discussed with your husband. without talking about these issues, they are never going to get resolved. you just need to make sure you state how you feel about it and find a compromise somewhere. same with the kising things, most parents usually will ask to steer clear of the face for the fear of getting the infant sick right away so that also should not be an inreasonable request. with the cothing, use or dont, its ultimately your choice but in reality its not going to hurt anything to put them on for a few hours or what not when they are over but do what you feel is best.

overall if you can resolve or at least compromise on these issues between you, your husband and them, then maybe you should consider seperating yourself from the in laws for awhile or decreasing how many times they come over. its all about stating your boundaries and if they dont know where they are drawn (via u and your hubby) then they wont know they are crossing the line.

Don't call and tell her the baby has come until you are ready for visitors. My mother has a bag packed & in her trunk so that she can head down here as soon as my 2nd son is born (I'm due in 2 1/2 weeks), even though I have told her that this time I'm not calling her until after the baby is born. With my first I had thought it would be nice to have her with me while I was in labor, and just ask her to step out when it was time to push because I wanted that to be just me & my husband. She got on my nerves so much that time that I don't want her down here this time until after the baby comes. I haven't told her why, but I have told her that she wont be down while I'm in labor this time. Just give her a heads up now that you or your husband will call her as soon as you & the baby are ready for visitors. She will probably handle that as well as my mother is handling not being invited down for the labor (not well at all) but she will get over it. Just make sure that your husband is backing you up or you will just look like the evil daughter-in-law trying to keep her away from her grandchild.

Herpes can be VERY harmful or life threatening for a baby! Which is why they will give you a c-section if you have vaginal herpes (visible sores)! Though it's very uncommon for it to be passed from mom to baby during delivery, but it can happen. So if you don't want her all over your baby then express your concerns, it's not the same when an adult who has a developed immune system gets the disease. Though, many kids do get herpes from family members this way (kissing: "Oh I haven't seen you since you were a baby!!!") About 1 in 10 people have Oral Herpes. Both oral and genital herpes is very common, but many do not know they have it. Anyways, enough with statistics.

If you don't want her there, and your hhubby can't speak up then do it for him. You want to be alone with baby so do that. If they show up at your door even if you call and ask nicely for them not to come, then tell them at the door that they are not allowed in your house, and if hubby insists they h=come in (because they drove so far, etc.) then /I/ personally would go so far as to leaving and going to a friends house. I highly value my alone time/space, and being hormonal, leaving might be better than going off. Make a deal with his parents and say that YOU will bring the baby to them, or they can visit after so many weeks/months.

I have to say I understand your husband's frustration in that it's hard to turn away your own parents, but with that said, here's your chance to tell someone you don't really know, and tell them "No!"

Always keep in mind that you should keep your tone low, and be calm, don't start yelling and start a fight when there's no need to.

I would be upset with shelling out money to parents, and honestly, they sound annoying enough for me to not like them lol. But for the sake of them being the grandparents, you don't want any bad blood there.

Stand up for yourself!!

As for the clothes, if it's not what you want then don't use it, you gave a specific request, and if they couldn't afford it, or didn't want to look for it, there's PLENTY of gift cards they could have given.

Good luck!

Your husband has to stop the buck flowing. I could understand if they were jobless or had huge medical bills, but their choice to misspend is their own. He shouldn't give them a dime again. He should tell them to get second jobs if they can't manage. He should also explain to them that they had better start saving because he's not going to support them in their old age. They make plenty of money. There is no excuse.

As to the cold sores, I would be very rude and tell her no kissing the baby with a cold sore. This is NOT negotiable! Cold sores ARE contagious and can actually be quite problematic for an infant.

Nope, not unreasonable at all. I've got a sign made up myself that says "BABY IS SLEEPING, Absolutely NO visitors, extended family members or door knockers. (Please call before dropping by)" which I put up on my front door when my babies are small and I just don't feel like having anyone around. Maybe you can do something similar. I started using it when my son was born prematurely and we wanted to keep him isolated from anyone for as long as possible to give his immune system a chance to catch up.

As for the cold sore issue, you're right to worry. Very young babies can (sometimes) get a serious brain infection when exposed to the herpes cold sore virus.

The clothes issue? Maybe you're being a little precious about that...I wouldn't make an issue out of it personally. Doesn't mean you have to put it on your child though.

I don't get along with my in laws there all a piece of work! As far as having them come over to see the baby tell them that you will bring the baby to them when you feel that the baby is ready to be around the outside world. this is your child you can do what ever you want( with in reason of course) tell them you are not trying to be a bi*** about it but as a mother you want the best and healthiest start for your child and being around a bunch on people is not that good for a new born baby!! And i know it may be out of your way to go there but at least you can leave when you want to! About the clothes if you asked them to get all cotton clothing then that is was they should have got. But in that case I would also say as long as you wash all the clothing b4 you put in on the baby any kind of fabric should be ok. but again like i said your the mommy and if that's what you want they should respect it!! I wish you the best of luck and if you can try and get along with your in laws right now in my marriage we are fighting a lott about them, in laws suck but married people have enough probs as it is, if you have the chance to get rid of one i would!!

I don't think you're being unreasonable his mom seems a little over bearing. Like you said you two have a baby on the way. Not only are babies expensive but so is being pregnant and giving birth. Insurance doesn't pay for everything and his mom wants to secretly borrow money and not pay it back. That's not fair to you. Good luck w/everything.

No you are not being unreasonable. Your Husband, Your Baby, and your Life. Be polite but firm and just say NO! They do get over it and respect you all the more in the long term.

lol, you sound like me! i am in the same situation, my husbands mom is bringing 3 other ppl to "visit" the baby, we live 8 hours away and they expected to stay at my house, eat my food! i think not, so they are staying at a hotel but the wierd thing is they are in debt and are really struggling to pay thier bills, its like how can you even afford the gas and the hotel and your food up here? i will also be breastfeeding and i dont want it to be a spectator event. they are extremely loud ppl and very rude. i feel like they are making a vacation out of this trip and thats fine with me but just dont over stay your welcome at my house. and they are all over weight so they eat alot of food and we just dont have that kind of money to be feeding ppl. his mom also borrows money, it took her a year to pay us back 200 bucks. and guess what! she spent $100 to get a hair straightener. her priorities are really screwed up. i cant even look forward to the birth of my baby bc of all this.

i just realized i didnt answer your question, that i just told you my problems lol. sorry about that, but i jsut wanted to let you know i was in the same boat and personally i dont think you are over reacting at all.