Why is it that some PAPs (Not all mind you...) say?

I certainly wasn't looiking for one that looked like me. I didn't have any specifics I was looking for. I just wanted the assurance that I could help a child---help make apositive difference in a child's life ---a child that needed me. And that's exactly what I got.

I already KNEW that agencies didn't place children according to their looks.

And you are so right----the main focus should be to give a child a loving home.

We have been waiting 14 months for a child. we are open to all races and some drugs and alcohol and in the adoption world that is very open from what i have learned our only requirement is that the child is less that a year old. We had one match in that 14 months but that the mother decided after the baby was born to parent that was difficult for us but i would never ever be mad at a mom who wanted to parent.Because of the laws in Illinois it is a waiting game to adopt since they only allow non for profit agencies or lawyers to do adoption no facilitators. I think in in Illinois it can be hard it can be easy it really just depends as we were told we have to wait till a natural mother connects with us. I will wait 14 more months if that is what it would take for a natural mother to choose us that is not pressured into doing it. I would never want that.

I think that most PAP want to adopt a child that looks similar to them. We just began the process and are not descriminatory based on sex, race, ethnic background. We do care about age. We would prefer to have a baby. But we feel we live in an area and are diverse enough to provide a stable home for a racially diverse child. Some people do not feel they can give a child of another race a good home because they cannot provide "roots" for them. They cannot give them a cultural identity.

The pre adoption seminar we attended showed a video that discussed these issues. It is harder than one would think to provide a child a stable environment that they will grow up to feel like they understood their racial/cultural history. The video we watched was an interview of an African American woman who was adopted by a white family. She admitted she struggled trying to find her identity. Some people are just not capable of overcoming such obstacles. And some families want to keep the adoption as out of the limelight as possible. They just want a child that can blend into their family. People have their reasons, and even though you feel you COULD do these things, you cannot fault them. Dealing with infertility and the loss of the ability to have your "own" child, can cause people who want to dream of a child that shares similar physical traits. I commend you for your desire to adopt, and once again for your ability to look past simple diversity. You will make a great parent.