So men are always trying to get sex. What's wrong with that?

LOL! I enjoyed some of the description of your boyfriend's endeavours.

Some girls are simply out and out cows and enjoy the "power" to deny and the power to belittle their male couterparts in these situations. There are such women and it is as simple as that, where those types of girls are concerned. They ruin it for genuine women - males who have suffered at their hands will be very reluctant to do what your boyfriend does i.e. give it their all, "no matter how silly it really makes [them] feel", in endeavouring to woo the girl. Instead those men may react by treating women badly and with disrespect and that is 'bad"..

I guess many women dislike the insincerity of any "wooing", when it is driven by solely a need to satisfy physical desire in the absence of love, because it reduces them to becoming an "object" of desire rather than a "subject" of love which is demeaning. This is sometimes described as men regarding women as a "piece of meat", which is highly degrading. Men who are in love can behave the same way because, although they are in love it does not diminish the need to satisfy their desire, however, it does make their advances to the woman attractive, for to be loved gives everyone a sense of worth.

Conversely, when a woman knows a man does not love her, but still considers he has the right to avail himself of her sexual favours, then it is only natural for the woman to feel "used", so hence a refusal is the only way to avoid that. Many men have a weird belief that women mean "Yes" when they say "No" and consequently, can't take "No" for an answer!! That is most frustrating and annoying and is a 'bad' thing. It shows absolutely no respect for the woman or for her wishes concerning something so sacrosanct.

To condone it because " ... it IS just hormones and stuff ...", I think is not a valid way of judging the situation. The fact that it is hormonally driven demands some self-control on the part of the male, in order for him to be capable of showing due respect for the woman, should she have no desire to comply.

Although I sense you mean that the insincere declarations of affection are not designed to personally offend the woman, and so you say, "It's nothing personal", nevertheless it becomes very personal to the woman, when she senses that he couldn't give a bugger about what she wants or does not want.

Consequently, it is important to have a mutual understanding between you of respect and love to maintain your human dignity. There is no human dignity in "screwing" for the sake of satisfying "sexual urgings" in the absence of love and respect, yet so many people indulge in sex that way and see nothing wrong with it. It is for this reason that it is so hotly debated i.e., between those who understand the importance of love and respect in the sexual act and those who don't have a clue about such things, believing it is OK to do it with anyone who is willing, just because both consent. The fact that they both consent is good enough for them. Sure, it is legally and possibly emotionally OK, but it's not a patch on the "real" thing, which is when mutual love, mutual respect and mutual desire are all present. Less than that dehumanizes the people involved - acting on base instincts alone, as animals do and is the reason we use such words as "animalistic behaviour" to describe that scenario.

I think it's the different ways of the two sexes.

I think women do want sex, but men and women go about it in different ways. Physically men (and this is all generally speaking) are quick to fire up whereas women tend to be a bit slower to warm up.

In many households (not always but a lot of the time) the women have more I'll use the term "checklist" work. It varies from family to family but I use the word checklist because they they're often the ones who have to remember to pay X, Y and Z bill, the kids, the vet etc Not always but often women talk about being distracted, although this is in relationships.

From a lot of comments I've heard and I have come across this (in some scenarios, mostly pubs / clubs) where a lot of guys are simply "Hi, wanna have sex?". A lot of women would like to at least exchange names! or have some preamble...

I agree it depends on the woman. Also depends on how well and how long you have known the bloke. I am a romantic, so being used as a **** doll doesn't appeal to me, even in a relationship. I 'm not saying your guy is using you, you obviously have a cool set of values between you and know each other pretty well. Whatever works for the individual is fine by me. It irritates most women that men go on with bullshit to get sex, bullshit that they should use all the time, not just when they want sex. That's why we get mad.

I am married and I do not understand what the problem is.I think that men look at sex a lot like a woman. In his "sowing wild oats" days he had sex. But when a man loves a woman and share his life with a woman he sees it as an expression of love. Really, we are emotional creatures. Everyday, we say a million times, "Honey, I love you." and "Honey, what are you thinking." We get vocal confirmation. I think for a man that he shows a woman his love for her by making love.A man gets the confirmation by knowing that he is pleasing to his wife in that way. I think sex is everything for a man in love. Are you married? Really, sometimes you really rather to be watching Lifetime, but I do not think it too much to ask that when your husband wants to express his love for you in that way to comply. Think about how bad you would feel if your husband always turned you down. It hurts their ego, and a man is mostly that.

Hmm, I'm going to try to take a swing at this one as a male and see if I can figure out why women would normally see this is a bad thing. For now, I have a couple of theories:

A. He is lying to you in order to get something he wants out of you. Basically, he is willing to feed you anything he thinks you will want to hear in order to get something out of you that he wants. One of the top logical fallacies used in the academic world is the fallacy of "slippery slope", or the idea that once something is allowed how far will it go until it is stopped. For instance, many people use the argument that same-sex is wrong because how long will it be until people can marry animals, inanimate objects, or even those who are dead? It's a logical fallacy, but my guess is that it is possible women believe that once he starts lying to get sex out of you, god only knows what else he will lie about.

B. A lot of women seem to think that men being fascinated with having sex with their girlfriend all of the time simply means he sees them as a tool, a means to an end and nothing more than that. I cannot say if this assumption has any basis in your relationship because you left out two key details: how often you two have sex in one day and what other sorts of things you do together when you aren't having sex. Many women are afraid that such activity de-humanizes them and turns them merely into objects.

C. Positive reinforcement. Basically, a lot of women are likely turned off by this approach because of basic psychology. If someone wants something and exhibits a behavior, then is rewarded; they will continue to exhibit that same behavior. This is essentially Pavlov's Dog, which involved a scientist named Pavlov ringing a bell before he would feed a dog some dog food. Eventually, he was able to ring the bell to cause the dog to salivate without giving the dog food. Women will tie this into theory A and assume that once he starts spewing out this romantic crap to you, it will be very hard to break that cycle because he has been positively reinforced with it for so long.

Although these urges are entirely natural (I am male as well), I have an idea for you to try as a sort of test. Depending on how long you have been doing this with your boyfriend, continue to do it for a little longer and one day abruptly stop. Why? Well as much as I don't like these theories, C happens quite literally all of time and once C happens, it tends to follow that A and B will become true as well. Now, once this happens do not under any circumstances indulge yourself in his wants, resist until he gives up.

He is going to react in either one of three ways: either he will become very confused and a little lost as to why it did not work this time, he will become very angry with you and leave you alone, or finally he will do both. The reason for this test is to see exactly how he perceives you. If he does option A and only acts a little confused but brushes it off, I think you both have a healthy relationship. If he does option B or C, he likely got upset because all three of my theories were correct and he has gotten to a point where you are no longer an individual with feelings but a means to an end.

You can go with my test or not, but I think it's worth a go. You seem intelligent enough to see through the rouse of his behavior when he wants to get laid so I think you also would like to keep some level of humanity towards how he perceives you. If you do, this test is very much worth it. If you don't mind him possibly seeing you as a tool, or just a means to the end of having sex after sex for so long (this is actually one of many fetishes) then simply stick with the program.

There's nothing wrong with desiring sex or even asking for it. It's natural.

But you made me pause when you said this: "Why is it looked at like a bad thing? I mean, it IS just hormones and stuff, right? It's nothing personal."

Sex IS personal, one of the most personal things two people can share. It's sad when someone is so blind to that.

You are a rare breed indeed. Trust me when I say this is the lesser of 2 evils. Women don't really want men to stop thinking about sex, because then men would stop thinking about them. Just imagine if you had to do all what men do to get you in bed. Like buying you dinner, remember meaningless holidays, getting you in the mood, taking you out, talking about things you're not really interested in, waiting until you're ready. You really think women would go through all this just to have sex with men? You can see it now. Men wanting more time at home instead of work, men wanting to be taken out, dinner bought, etc. Do the majority of women find these men attractive (who's not thinking of sex, but looking for appreciation and equality)? Hell NO!!!!!!---Whether they want to admit it or not.

YOU are liking it right now because those "base, uncouth, and animalistic" urges ae focused on YOU (i.e. it's about as flattering as it gets). However, if those "base, uncouth, and animalistic" urges were to be focused on another woman, you wouldn't quite see it that way, which (of course) is where the chorus of cliched female sayings come from. Which is also why worthy men do not care much for what woman say. Or think.

Scumbag, you lie. You are NOT a woman, nor do you desire sex with them. You want to screw kids, which is why you and your pedo buds go to such great lengths to make women and feminists look bad on this site. Body Politic tells the whole story about you pederasts, and your weird belief that you are homosexuals. Only you fruits have the motivation to go this far when it comes to trying to influence the collective consciousness, all because your pervy asses were kicked by the lesbians and feminists, way back at the beginning of the gay rights movement.

You're better and more understanding than all those other girls who mind insincere bfs who only want sex. He sounds like a keeper.