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How to nicely tell your mother to not visit you?
My mother is a very emotional person. Being honest and telling her that her over-emotional behavior often disrupts any decent balance, expects me to live like I'm in a Lysol commercial, and to be living with many luxuries (while demanding me to provide those luxuries for her). Going through an economic hardship, my boyfriend lost his job and we had to downsize back to a small apartment, getting whatever job comes our way. (I don't mean to sound whiny, I know everyone has it hard, I'm just thankful there's no children in my situation) Not to mention I've also fallen ill to the point of hospitalization this winter- Still recovering from the physically, financially, and emotionally, and my mother, being the over-emotional love queen she is came to visit and made that situation much harder on me. She'd now like to visit again but, I'm not at a place where her over-emotional perspectives would be appreciated-- how do you tell a well-intentioned mother that you don't want her around, without breaking her heart?
4 Answers
- Hoots of WisdomLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
tell her you would like some space because things have been very tough for you. Remember to mention how much you love her and appreciate her consideration towards you. that way she doesn't feel she is only making the problem worse. She really wants to help because your her daughter and the last thing you want to do is make her feel like a bad mother for caring for her child. Do not ignore her, do not make up a lie. She cares and she is worth the truth! I am the same way your mother is and all someone has to do is ask and I will give the person space...but everyone always ignores me instead of telling me the truth and it makes me feel like a crappy friend, daughter, sister etc. We care, but if you tell us you want space we will back off. But don't think for one second that she'll back off completely. You have to give in somewhat. At the end of the tunnel there'll be alight and you'll realize that maybe your mother was Only trying to help. She is older and probably wiser at least ask for advice so she doesn't feel totally unneeded.
- Home treasureLv 51 decade ago
Tell her because you have been ill you are not in a position to have any visitors.Tell her you are sleeping in the day sometimes and your boyfriend is job hunting so not really able to entertain her.
Why don't you use Skype with a webcam. You can still chat to each other and she can share things with you. Make a date for a few weeks time when you think you will be more recovered. It doesn't have to be at your place at all! You can keep in touch regularly for a short time each call as your energy allows. Hopefully that will be enough to stop her being too demanding.
- 1 decade ago
i would just come clean.
something along the lines of: i dont mean to sound disrespectful or to insult you, but i am in a bit of a crisis so i dont think you should visit me yet. ill come and see you when opportunity arises (or vice versa)
in your own words
