I have a monkey..., and I spank him!..., yet he still doesn't listen! How can I train him?

I would say with calmness and respect; I definately think that spanking or generally hitting your animals is abusive and will make him want to rebel more. Remember, monkeys are smart ;)

If you spank him with a large brick, that should make him behave longer. Or you could try just NOT spanking him and pet him gently, treat him with love. Also, try only spanking him half as often, I'm sure he will reward you for your patience. I don't have a monkey. I have a dolphin. Sometimes, he's bad and I flog him.

First, you need to be a monkey so he understands. Speak like the monkey, dance around like a monkey and screech from the top of your lungs while clobbering yourself with a banana over your head. He'll get the message then.

Bananas and Cheerios work wonders. Or maybe your not spanking that monkey just right.

Dogs are more intelligent than monkeys despite their resemblance to humans.

That should tell you something about evolution.

reward him, perhaps with banana's??? bad treatment is no way to gain respect, it will only cause more harm than good, resentment, be careful he can rip ur face off, haven't you heard the real life stories, you can never take the wild out dear...Peace/Love God Bless

Be a good example for him.

What monkey see, monkey do.

That would be because you are only 6. Muppet

Hire any qualified trainer.

This is lame...but anyway...

Thank God there are not too many atheists in the world. Here's proof.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/arch...