was this the right choice and the right behavior?

Here is the story:met this guy let's call him J almost 3 years ago.We have been there thru thin and thick and became best friends.When he met me I was in this serious relationship,at times fighting with my then bf which is my now ex and with whom I am best friends with.Anyways the guy that I dated for 4 yrs and I called it off for good in June of 2009.J and I dated 2 months later and everything was good.Then problems started to happen as my grandparents has problems and they live across the ocean in Romania,Europe(with their health) and I had problems with school.We split in Feb.J and I were on non-speaking terms and he did not want anything to do with me and pretended that he did not know me or that I was no longer part of his life.Okay here is the twist:last semester I ended up being pregnant 6-7 weeks along with out even knowing(I had my period and everything and my last one was only a couple of days late),I was eating carbs which I do when I am stressed out and nauseated which I am when I lack sleep and am really stressed out.So nothing seemed out of the ordinary.I found out that I was pregnant in NOvember(the 30th) when J was dealing with the loss of his uncle whom he loved dearly,I was going to tell my parents and then him(him and I are in college-me about to get my BA and him working on his MA) yet 4 days after I had a miscarriage.I fell in this dark time for 2-3 weeks in which I did not return his calls,would barely call my own family,almost got kicked out of 2 of my classes and had to explain to my teachers why I was acting the way I was.He never knew that I was pregnant at any point nor suspected it because after the miscarriage I tried to pick up my life and move on the best that I could yet it was hard.I told my family finally at the end of Decemvber after finals and my sister was in awe while my mom was in tears.

Since J does not want anything to do with me I had to get this off my chest to get closure and to move on.So what I did is I wrote a letter explaining to him what happened.I then twittered him to please meet me by the library at our university so I could give him something important then disappear out of his life forever.When he did not respond I called him and he did not want anything to do with me:I asked him to meet me for 2 minutes for me to drop off a letter and then walk off and he said no.I told him that it is important and he said no.I told him that he better sit down when he reads it and he finally said "What are you talking about?" He would not budge so I asked him if he wants me to just tell him what was in the letter and he said yes.I told him that I was pregnant and could not be by his side when his uncle passed away.He asked me what happened and I told him that I had a miscarriage 4 days after that,he asked me if I was okay and I said yes,I told him that some complications occured during the pregnancy and miscarriage and that my family knows.Last thing I told him was that I did not tell him because I was trying to protect him when he was dealing with grieving. He then told me that he had to go since I knew that he was with friends(I could tell that he was at a bar) and he hung up.

I felt so stupid after I told him that yet also felt closure.I wish that I could have given him the letter which explains everything in detail yet he does not want to see me.I am confused: he was the father yet he shows no compassion for something.All my friends say that he was in shock especially never telling him after it happened only months later and out of the blue especially after a break up(2 months later). I am questioning if what I did was for the best.Any ideas?