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Is this any good?????????????????
Stuck in a vice
A disgusting device
A hart crushed
True love flushed
Stuck at a crossroad
Not sure which way to turn
the path of death
seems so much less
Make the pain stop
Im willing to pay
The world can stay
Im going to just fall and give it all away
2 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
It has good technique, a 'prodigy' to be a good story. Structure, vocab and general grammar is what you could work on.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Not bad, but its needs to be a little longer.