taking reign of my life:going against the grain-family vs. ex bf?

Here is the long story: I met this guy Chris almost 5 years ago while working on my Associate Degree,we started dating and became a couple.We were on and off for almost 4 yrs,a dysfunctional couple and the trouble with me was that my parents saw when I broke up with him or vice versa so they knew only what he did etc. Him and I transferred to the same university after completing our Associate Degrees, he came to the same university as I did because of the program they had but also because of me so he could be closer.I let the relationship get in the way of my grades and because of that I pushed my graduation by 3 semesters(plus health issues etc).Anyways Chris and I called the relationship off in June 2009 due in part for the best and because we realized that I was not happy and he kept on trying to make me happy.I was devastated,in the middle of my summer classes but pushed myself to do the best.After the break up I was cold to him and did not see him for 2 months,we spoke on the cell somewhat,he asked me out for dinner on my b-day but I was celebrating it with my parents,to dinner and a smoothie another time but I turned him down and the day after we broke up he called me 5 times to make sure that I was okay(I was in summer class back to back 8am to 3pm).Anyways we met in August,talked and rekindled for a while,I found out that I was pregnant in November (yes I used birth control but am epileptic and my neurologist increased one of my medicines since I am epileptic but my gyno did not change my dosage of birth control so the birth control was not effective as I later found out).I had a miscarriage and bumbed my finals,this semester I moved home because I am taking 2 online classes and 1 on campus class and comute twice a week to the campus.I have not seem my ex in 2 months since Feb when I had my last seizure on campus,but we could chat on the cell and our schedules were hectic.He is now in Grad School where I am supposed to be but my stupid health and so forth put me behind which I have only myself to blame.

This summer my family and I were going to take a trip to visit our family in Romania and since my ex Chris and I are best friends I asked my parents after speaking with him if he could come.My mom said yes them my dad said the same thing,my sister when she found out she flipped and was mad like hell at me because I did not consult with her as well and because she did not feel as though I asked the whole family so then there was tension between my sister and I.So Chris gets his passaport stuff done and is about to receive his passaport any day now,he save a lot of money for a 2 and 1/2 week trip in Romania,my home country where our grandparents are from,Austria where my parents have a friend(a couple of days) and France(a couple of days).My dad's job was in jeopardy as his co was bought and matters became complicated and we called off the trip which was a hard thing to do and tell Chris.Not even two days ago I found out that the trip was back on because my dad's job is going a lot better,etc and my mom told me not to tell Chris because this is a family trip and well he is not part of the family.

I agree with her abt him not being part of the family and then she said that if he wants to go then him and I can travel by ourselves.Even before my mom said that two days prior Chris asked me if my folks would be okay with me and him traveling by ourselves.Weird huh?I really want to go with the family but at the same time I feel that this is crazy and that my parents should have thought their answer before giving it to this guy.I mean yes they saw me cry and do not have the best idea of him but he is a good guy.We discussed marriage,my dream wedding,he knows the ring I want,etc...My mom asked me if he Chris saw me in the last 2 months and I said no and she said that "See he could have made time for you,etc"...I stopped telling my family stuff because I feel that if I tell them something then it will backfire.I am 25 and fell that I have no control over my life to be honest.My ex Chris waited and waited for me but he saw how I do everything my parents want or how I listen to them and finally he gave up.I want to go with both my parents and my ex but I cannot have both.While dating Chris I have never celebrated my b-day with him once!It was always with my family in Romania one yr,,another yr in Salt Lake City,Utah while on a family trip,the next year well were broke up and last year he asked me out to dinner but I turned him down.I feel that no matter what if I say yes to my family he will get mad.If I say yes to him my family will get mad.What do I do?I am an adult and feel that I should take matters in my own hands not depend on others..All my teachers see how much I have matured but I guess my family not so much...