I need input ...Something dont seem right?

What he's doing is not right, but it's certainly understandable. He doesn't want to lose his kids. Until he figures out that spoiling his kids isn't doing them any favors, you need to put your foot down and tell him that he's not permitted to discipline your children if he's not going to do the same for his own. Tell him to leave the discipline of your own kids to you, no exceptions. It's unfair for a parent to treat one child differently than another, plain and simple.

As far as long term advice, though... that's really only a temporary solution. You're never going to be a real family until this issue is worked out. There needs to be some serious communication happening between both parents and kids.

Your fiance should be disciplining the children. Children who aren't disciplined are going to grow up to selfish people, it's as simple as that. Tell him that he has to discipline his kids. The kids are going to be unhappy at first, of course, but it has to be done. Tell him that you will make sure he isn't doing anything unreasonable to the children, so he shouldn't worry about his parenting skills. Remind him that you are behind him every step of the way. Make sure he disciplines gently. Chances are that the kids will threaten to go live with their mother, but won't take action because all their friends are at home. If they move to Hawaii they are leaving behind all their friends and school. It won't happen.

I'm not sure about this part, but isn't it illegal for kids to just go back and forth between parents? Isn't there some sort of custody agreement?

Oh and you aren't crazy (:

You're not crazy. Blending two families together is very difficult and I give you credit for not pretending like everything is great, when it isn't. That shows you are an attentive mother who loves her children deeply. The only thing that I foresee helping you is a therapist that specializes working with children and families to help you both see the family dynamics and to help communicate with one another regarding the child-rearing. Psychotherapists are of great benefit and you'd be amazed at how quickly these issues can get resolved with their guidance. If you two really love each other and want to be committed to making this family work, it is worth it. Best wishes

from the stand point of someone who was in a similar situation, stick with your kids! My dad has recently remarried to a woman who had two kids (their father passed away saving a dog in high rivers) so he (my dad) has done everything he can to please them, and completely forgotten about my younger brother and myself. I would consult your kids. ask them how they feel. from my stand point what he is doing is wrong. you should treat all of your kids as equally as possible. you are WAY NOT crazy! If it helps, I miss my dad SOO much, but im afraid to do anything about it because I know that he tells me he is the happiest he's ever been, even if it makes me unhappy. So I try to stay out of it as much as possible. You may also ask people who involved in your life on a daily basis. the Very best of luck to you, I know these situations are not easy at all.

You really need to talk to him about this, not just stand there and watch it happen. Let him know that those are your children, not his, and you should be responsible for their discipline.

Find another lover; he is going about it all wrong.