Has anyone lost a child through adoption? how do you heal properly from the loss?

You never heal from it. You learn to deal with your loss and move forward one day at a time.

I'm in agreement - there is no way to heal properly. In fact one never heals completely from losing a child to adoption - even if they insist they are over it.

There is numerous research and women's studies on the long term impact of losing a child this way. It's pretty much a foregone conclusion that it will affect most everything else in your life because of the trust issues most women develop after being emotionally beaten into submission.

You can survive though - just keep talking about it. Connect with other women who have experienced the same thing - if you can afford a counselor who understands adoption and grief issues.

I'm sorry for all your suffering - you and your baby did not deserve to be separated.

The only way to heal faster is to look at the good things about the adoption. I did adoption before and it has been only 10 months. The baby looks just like his adoptive dad and is very happy so it keeps me going but the nightmares are so haunting and the pain took a huge toll on me, I cut off communication because of the pain. I can't believe the amount of pain adoption can cause. I mean, one woman who will never have the chance to have a baby and who has been trying for 5 years finally gets the little bundle of joy she always dreamt of and now there family is complete and full of love. But that's the exact opposite for the birth mother, who feels completely empty and lost.

Time is the only way to heal. and your own willingness to accept or let it haunt you, although it's never easy

You will see that little soul again in the after life.

finding an outlet for your emotional stress from the adoption is a big factor. I lost my daughter to adoption 10 years ago and not a day goes by that i don't think about it.. especially on mothers day. But there are some good sites that you can go to to talk to other people that have experience and can be a great shoulder to cry on. Its not an easy road.. especially when you don't have a support system.

try: http://forums.adoption.com/birthparents/

I have never fully recovered from giving my daughter up and she is 38, we have been in reunion for 9 years. Reunion did help us both resolve some problems, but I will never get past the guilt. I have times when I don't think of what happened 38 years ago and then it just smacks me in the face. You will have good and bad times and you just have to go with the flow.

First of all, know that the pain you are going through is completely normal and natural. I would urge you to speak to a counselor who has worked with birth mothers before. Almost every birth mother whose child is adopted goes through a grieving process. It's not uncommon to feel shame, shock, sadness, anxiety, and to have sleeplessness and nightmares. Having a counselor who knows this process will help you work through it.

Another helpful resource is other birth mothers. There are support groups online and offline for other moms in your situation.

Local adoption lawyers, agencies, and social workers may be a good source of referrals to counselors and support groups. My best wishes to you on your journey.

""how do you heal properly from the loss?""

There is no "properly" healing from losing your baby, you just deal with it and do the best you can one day at a time. Life goes on..but you will forever miss your baby.

You want to ask who do they heal at all, not properly. None of us have healed properly.

No you just learn to deal with it

not easily