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Am I Asking Too Much From My Boyfriend? Guys what do you think?
I know i asked this question earlier but didnt really get responses so am asking again...
I live in South Africa, my boyfriend lives in the US. After much thinking of how and when we'll meet I bought a ticket of almost 4 thousand US dollars to go visit him in august for 2 weeks. Initially he had said come for 4 to 6 weeks and he hopes I like being with him so much I don't come back to South Africa at all. (we've known each other 5 years).
Today was the day I was supposed to finalize and fully pay off my ticket, last night i asked him what should i do because i need to know when to book a return date so he said come for two weeks. I was gutted but thought not to make a big deal of it and said ok. Then told him I am so excited I will be seeing him soon and his reply was not at all happy or excited. So i said I cant help but feel you're not excited as i am so his reply to that was, i'm at work how excited to you expect me to be. I was hurt and feeling really crappy because I felt he wasnt really bothered about me going to see him.
Then today before paying for the ticket i sent him an email coz he doesnt like me texting him, i said please let me know if you want me to come or not so i can pay for the ticket. so he says yeah come for two weeks. I finish pay for the ticket and we are emailing back and forth while i try to explain to him how difficult it was for me to put together that sort of money, the sacrifices i made to be able to make the trip and how i wanted to feel appreciated and loved and wanted...and how i just wanted him to be nice and say he wants me to come...then i said....
I always thought the day I finally have my ticket all sorted and know
when I'm travelling I will be over the moon with glee but the way
things happened I can't help but wonder if its a sign of some kind.
His Reply....Im sorry im not able to help u. I dont know how often u are going to.flying off the handle. And u wonder why i get concerned.
Im sorry ill save up and send u the money
To This I said...Very Smooth...if its payback of any kind that you were looking for you certainly got it and alot extra! you hurt me, make me feel like my efforts and my feelings mean nothing then you break up with me. and to cheapen me you tell me you're going to send me money.... nice!
well i guess that's that then....goodbye and good luck finding miss perfect! (he never replied to this mail)
Then I just felt I had to tell him how he made me feel so i sent him this.....good luck with your exams, work and every other area of your life. I would have liked a confirmation email from you saying you've broken up with me for some closure but its ok. am deleting you off messenger and facebook etc not to be rude but because if you're still on there and I see you online I know I'll want to come say hi to you and I know you wont like that but u have my email address if there is anything you'd like to say. I'm sad it ended this way, I never said I was perfect and you've always known I am emotional and like to feel that the other person I am in a relationship with wants, needs and appreciates me. If you feel that's drama and insane then that's sad. There's millions of other things I'd like to say but it doesn't really matter now. Its a good thing for you that you haven't said anything to your family this way its easier, I on the other hand told my mum yesterday so its going to be a bit weird for a while. (he never replied to this either and i have not sent him any more mail)
My question is why is it soooooooo wrong to want to feel loved and wanted and appreciated after making such huge sacrifices to go over to the other end of the world to see someone for just two weeks?
oh noooo....Vanessa i already deleted him from facebook and messenger now what do i doooo? :'-(
1 Answer
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
There were a lot of parts of your question that I did not understand but I'll go ahead and do my best to comment.
He probably has several issues. You are far far away and with you visiting him he probably feels it's like a big commitment and men are afraid of commitment. There is a chance that he might of felt smothered for a second after reading what you expected from him. I am a woman so I know how you feel and would want from a relationship.
Another possible thing is that he probably has someone else and never expected you to go to the USA. I don't know. It could have been so many things but he never responded then you just let him go. Make him want you again. Don't delete him from facebook and post positive comments and nice pictures of you.. Make him think you are over him and maybe he'll come back crawling to you.
Good luck!