As a crossdresser I have never really had many?

Its just a fetish. Your brain is hard-wired to release dopamine and other neurotransmitters when you feminize yourself. Like all fetishes, you are using objects as a substitute for human intimacy. Its as if your brain interprets cross-dressing for actual contact with a female.

These neurotransmitters are powerful chemicals they affect the reward centers of your brain and produce sensation of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification and self-identity. You cannot stop your brain from releasing these neurotransmitters, so it mimics the addiction response.

You've probably noticed that cross-dressing has an association with masturbation. They are both associated with the release of neurotransmitters. You release so much neurotransmitters when your masturbate that you experience a temporary depletion of them. So for a few minutes after your masturbate you may not feel the same affinity toward cross-dressing.

You really love the neurotransmitters and you are just using cross-dressing as the tool to release them. If you just do the same thing over and over then the brain tires and releases less neurotransmitters. That's why you keep needing to push the envelope and take greater risks with your fetish.

I can't evaluate your physiological theories regarding the cause(s) of crossdressing or other so-called addictive behavior; however, I am convinced that wanting to crossdress is not a condition you acquire by election - your brain simply works that way and you have no choice about the matter. That said, you can thank the Good Lord you are not afflicted with a condition that puts other people in danger or otherwise at risk. In other words, who does it hurt if you wear female clothing instead of male clothing?

If you've been around for a while, you must understand that it is an unfortunate tendency of people with limited self confidence and low self esteem to put others down in order to feel better about themselves. Many people who have accomplished little or nothing in their own lives choose to act out their sense of resentment and frustration by attacking others based on characteristics that have nothing to do with a person's character: race, sexual orientation, transgenderism, etc. This will never change. I have at least one close friend (Terry) who is a happy, well-adjusted male to female crossdresser. He tells me he used to cringe several times a day as he was confronted with stares, laughter and taunting. He rarely experiences such reactions today. The change may be attributable, in small part, to a more educated public; however, I think it has a lot to do with Terry's own outward attitude. He seems perfectly comfortable with himself and what he is doing. From his perspective, he has every right to wear dresses, skirts, etc. without asking anyone else's permission. My guess is that anyone who sees Terry might be surprised by his attire at first, but is likely to readily accept it given Terry's obvious sense of comfort with himself.

Part of your problem is lack of understanding.

The average person in the US doesn't really understand homosexuality, much less transgender people. Hell, even plenty of people in the gay community don't understand transgender men and women.

This means that very few people understand the difference between someone who is transexual/transgender and someone who is a transvestite/crossdresser.

With transgender individuals, there's the feeling that they are a woman trapped in a male body (or vice versa). Once that's explained to someone, I think most people can at least understand the general concept even if they can't relate to it.

But what about crossdressers? You're a male and you're supposedly happy being male, but you like to dress up as a woman. Being a drag performer is one thing, but crossdressing is heavily associated to many people with sex, since the impression is that you're not doing it out of a desire to be female as much as a desire to satisfy a sexual fetish.

There is less evidence, at least as far as I know, to support the idea that transvestic fetishism (or indeed any fetish) is as heavily rooted in biology as sexual orientation or gender identity. There are arguments that suggest early childhood experience simply creates a psychosexual attachment to women's clothing.

The best thing you can do is really sort out what exactly drives you to dress in women's clothing. If you can easily explain it to someone else you are more likely to have them respond with understanding.

My brother crossdresses sometimes. He was dressed as Sporty Spice when he met his wife. She loves to see him in drag.

Maybe part of the problem with finding a woman who wants to be with you and love your cross-dressing is that you seem to think it's some kind of illness. Maybe if you accept it as one of the cool things about you, women will be more into it.

You might try putting a dating ad up on craigslist looking for a woman to hook up with or date who is into cross-dressers. See what kinds of responses you get. If you present yourself as the ultimate male feminist who can literally put yourself in a woman's shoes, maybe you'll get farther with this than if you mope around with it and ask people to pity you for this heavy burden. I would always rather be with a guy who is happy with himself.

I do feel bad for you. Unfortunately the most you are gonna get out of this is sympathy. More people feel uncomfortable around crossdressers than gay guys. :( I think maybe you should try other things. (Im assuming you havent tried to feel comfortable in your genders clothes. And according to what i read you are straight. I think crossdressers are gay and transvestites are straight.