I'm starting to loose faith in my religion?

I am so sorry to hear about your health condition. It must be very dificult.

In regards to your questioning God's motive behind your health issues. Please remember one thing, he is not the one responsible for your trials:

(James 1:12-13) 12 Happy is the man that keeps on enduring trial, because on becoming approved he will receive the crown of life, which Jehovah promised to those who continue loving him. 13 When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.” For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone.

Also when we endure under hardship and maintain our loyalty to Jehovah even when we are sick, he sees that:

(Matthew 5:10) 10 “Happy are those who have been persecuted for righteousness’ sake, since the kingdom of the heavens belongs to them.

(James 1:2) 2 Consider it all joy, my brothers, when YOU meet with various trials,

After all he know how much we can bear and is fair:

(1 Corinthians 10:13) 13 No temptation has taken YOU except what is common to men. But God is faithful, and he will not let YOU be tempted beyond what YOU can bear, but along with the temptation he will also make the way out in order for YOU to be able to endure it.

(Isaiah 40:29) 29 He is giving to the tired one power; and to the one without dynamic energy he makes full might abound.

(Philippians 4:12-13) . . .. 13 For all things I have the strength by virtue of him who imparts power to me.

(1 Thessalonians 5:24) He who is calling YOU is faithful, and he will also do it.

(2 Thessalonians 3:3) But the Lord is faithful, and he will make YOU firm and keep YOU from the wicked one.

There is so much more to consider....

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If you would like to know more about this and other themes, next time Jehovah's Witness come to your door, ask them for a free Bible study at your convenience. You will never regret all the knowledge you will acquire and remember that what you do with that knowledge is your choice.

Knowledge + Application = Wisdom

You may not be Jewish spiritually to begin with (i.e. you mentioned 'when I wasn't Jewish'). This is why Judaism does not seek out converts and why converts must come without ulterior motives: you must have a Jewish neshama (soul) that was present at Sinai and already drawn to Torah, otherwise you are keeping laws that you were really never commanded to. You are practising a faith in vanity's sake and not because Hashem wants you to. As a result you or your children will eventually walk away. Read the book of Ruth to understand what a ger tzaddik is.

Also it does not sound like you have learned or practice Jewish beliefs. Otherwise you would know that G-d does not punish us in this life for sins on an individual basis (compare the first vs the second paragraphs of the Shema and an Orthodox rabbi will show you how we KNOW this). Actually, everything you have written seems straight from a xtian doctrine. [But it is so amazing, that you say you are Jewish, because it sounds as if you have never opened a siddur in your life!] So I think THAT is the main problem, if these are your deepest feelings, you may be living out a faith that was never designed for you nor given to you.

I do hope that you find your true path and that you have a full recovery.

Edit:

If you ARE actually Jewish however (born or converted) and feel you just need to reconnect to your spirituality----then you can go to your local Orthodox rabbi so that other Jews in the community can collectively pray a misheberach for you. There will also be a group of women who will pray Tehillim specifically and regularly for you. On your part, you should focus on keeping one mitvah (i.e. lighting Shabbat candles) just for the sake of keeping it, then pray specifically for the strength to keep more mitzvot.

Finally, you cannot be a Jewish by yourself (you don't mention anyone you have reached out to, only yourself). In order to really live as a Jew it is very important that you are part of a community. This is why we pray for the sick, bring meals, etc.; the sick don't pray/ fend for themselves.

God is there not to give you comfort on earth .earth is a test ground .

there would be many problems but the successful will be those in this exam who have enough patience .

the best thing would be don't want anything in return bt worship God .

remember we are just a servant of God .reward is waiting after death .

think about the cancer patience who is dying and have few days left .you are in better position then them .

though i think its believe that give you peace .if you believe in something which you actually don't understand or neglect then the peace disappear.

a true follower of any religion take the best of the pain but still smile cz they knw it a test and ths earth dnt mean much .

find something more meaningful if you are not comfortable being a Jewish .

think again in many muslim region many family were killed in iraq in palestine .still they are living .islam ruled the poorest parts and the richest parts .still survive .most of the prophet were poor .Muhammad lived in a stone house in the desert .so even prophets lived a hard life .so think about that .compare to them we are nothing

Dear Salman! Not any one who is not a Muslim will go to hell. Before appearance of Islam there were many good people who will enter paradise because they did the best they could. and even now if a person tries his best and couldn't find the truth he wont enter hell. God wants us not to go astray. It is the same when a person is ill he refers to a doctor. if he performed doctors advises he will be cured, otherwise he will die of that. it is the same in our life. God has sent us the prophets and gave us reason if we use these two we will be guided even if we misunderstand a topic.

I will pray you gain the strength to look at life from a more positive side. You are not alone in your feelings and questions. May I suggest reading the Book of Job?

The Bible says in John 14:14, "Ask anything in my name, and I will do it." So, God has said he will do what you ask. There is no doubt about that. What you need to do, is make sure you're praying in the right way. Ask anything "in His name" (i.e. I ask this in Jesus' name or in Jesus' name I pray). You also have to pray out loud. You can't pray in your head. You have to voice the words. You also have to be very specific as to what you''re asking for. Ask Him to take what ever sickness because it is not of your body, and it is not of God, and as a child of God, you don't have to be sick or poor or sad. Also, don't keep praying the same thing. God said He'll do what you ask, and He does hear you; so there is no need to ask him repeatedly for the same thing. After you ask Him for what it is you need, whenever you think about it after that, pray to thank Him that He has healed you in Jesus' name and that you are whole again. Now, with how to pray being stated, you need to understand that God didn't do this to you. God doesn't test his children. God is good. God is love. And goodness and love don't have anything bad to offer. Anything bad in this world is of the devil, and the devil is the one inflicting this pain on you.

i'm so sorry that you're going thru hard times.

Please read this and I'm sure it will be of some comfort.

that's how it started with me. 1 thing that ate away at me and made me wonder if God would ever save me.

no offense, but welcome to Atheism.

is your faith too tight?

im sorry idk