She won't leave me alone!?

Question

I am a single guy in my late 40's. I haven't been in any sort of relationship with a woman for 10 years and my last sexual relationship with a woman was the best part of 20 years ago. I'm not good looking or wealthy and women have just never shown much interest in me. I have some issues of my own due to a rotten childhood, I am scared to get close to people especially women and after years of reliance on pornography to gain sexual relief I think I would be too nervous to perform with a woman in bed or I'd come the minute they touched me.
I decided long ago that women and I were better off without each other and while I have been very lonely at times it was more peaceful. It was not as though I was beating them off with a stick anyway as they didn't show any interest until now. I met a young woman she is early 30's and although a bit chubby very pretty. She is very sweet and I have enjoyed meeting with her and chatting to her online but after a while I panic, I don't know what she wants from me or what I am able to give. Women just have this way of getting under your skin and I panic. I tried ignoring her emails, canceling our meetings I even got angry but she just backs off and gives me the time to get over it and then contacts me again, sends me a little gift or cheery email and no matter how I push her away she just keeps coming back and I feel like how can I keep pushing her away when she is being so sweet and kind to me? Why is she doing this? In the past I've found women are not prepared to put up with this sort of behavior at all so why should she? 
I am not sure what she wants or what I want but I don't think she is going to leave me alone any time soon, what should I do?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Tell her you are not interested and would never have a relationship with her as you are broken and don't wished to be fixed.  That should do it.  Clearly you don't want to have someone around who may actually care for you, so don't let her waste her time.

annhellicah · Answer

I totally agree with Heather. Dont put every person or woman in the same catagory. Stop being hardheaded and give it up that you and women dont mix; give this lady a chance to be a part of your life. Dont bring your past into you future or you will not have one. Drop all of that bad baggage and start off on a new path, sounds like this lady really cares for you. Give it a go and then if you still dont like it in a few weeks or months then just say no. What do you have to loose?; nothing. But on the other hand you may be able to gain a lot of great ideas, feelings, and fullfillment.

townes · Answer

You should decline her invitations since you don't want relationships. You should tell her directly. Or, if you want to give a relationship a try again, now's your chance. Up to you.

It sounds like the woman in season 1 of The Dollhouse who lived next door to the nice cop investigating the evil dollhouse operation. She was 30ish and chubby and pretty and sweet. Or so we THOUGHT. Then it turns out she's actually been programmed by the Dollhouse to use her ninja skills to ASSASSINATE the guy next door! Don't let it happen to you!

bandaid_46 · Answer

Some therapy might help you get over your panic when someone [anyone, not just this girl] is nice to you. It sounds like she likes you, dearie. Give it a chance. It could be the very best thing that has ever happened to you.

Cougar · Answer

Stop living in fear.
Love is the opposite of fear.
Let her love you and you may grow to love her too.
It's way better than being lonely.
Don't be afraid to learn about love with her.
It's more than just sex.
Get real and lose the porn.

Anonymous · Answer

Enlighten her; tell her you care for her but, then tell her your issues. There is a strong possibility with love, understanding, kindness and consideration; both of you could have a blissful life.

nora · Answer

so your question is how to tell her to leave you alone? just tell her straight out that you are not interested in a relationship at this time. she probably is really just a sweet girl and trying to be your friend.

Anonymous · Answer

she likes you give her a chance and get councelling for your issues.you could be happy with her

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She won't leave me alone!?

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