im soon to be 18 and im afraid im pregnant.?

i know im feeling pretty stupid right now. because of my actions. im also very scared and nervous. me and my boyfriend had sex awhile ago. and well we didnt have a condom so we did it but he came out before he came. anyways. this isnt our first time doing that. so were pretty used to it. anyways. ive come to notice i dont remember my last period. because last month i had alot on my mind. i graduated and went to prom and signed up for college. i think i should be starting right around now this month. im not sure. but i havnt started yet and i feel like its been more than 4wks. im scared. and i dont feel like im going to start soon. if i am pregnant. i feel like my lifes over. i mean i planned to go to the army. and start a career there. and learn to better myself. i also planned to use it as a escape from this place. and from my bf. even though weve been together for over a year. almost more than a year and a half. i dont picture myself marrying him. or having a future with him. even though i love him. i mean he can barley take care of himself. how can he take care of me. well if im pregnant. i guess im stuck with him. i mean hes always struggling with money. so i dont know how we will make it. i dont plan to have an abortion. because its against what i believe. i mean yes. i planned my life differently. but im not going to be selfish and take away a life. just so i can live they way i wanted. im just glad im out of highschool. i wanted to go to college in the army. simply because i cant pay for it in the civillian world. i wonder if i can still go to college pregnant? i would have to get student loans. which will suck. thats why i was joining the military. its just everythings fkd up now. because of this. i mean im trying not to think about because im not for sure yet. i mean its not like he came inside me. but theres always precum. and i got to face the facts. i have not started yet. im scared. and im not ready for a baby. but who ever is? i mean i will love it regardless.but i planned to be more financially stable for this. and to be married. but im stupid. and gave in to temptation. and had sex. i just wish i could take it all back. its hard for me and him to resist it. because well we are strongly physically attracted to eachother. and its hard to say no. im trying though. all we can do i guess is pray.ive been praying every night. he has to. we said the rosary awhile ago together. im just scared of whats going to happen.even more scared to tell my parents. because they expected more from me. didnt even know i was having sex. i mean i will just be another bad excuse for my family for why there lifes not right. for my lil brothers and sisters too. i dont want to put this on them. i plan to wait another 2wks. and if i dont start. my bf said he will get me a test. im nervous. my whole lifes going to change if its positive. i didnt expect this.im just stupid for my actions. i only can keep praying. its in gods hands now. and if i am. i guess i have to make the best of it. didnt expect me to go out like this.

i need prayers.