My 16 year old son wants to marry an 18 year old girl he says he is in love with?

If it were my kid, I'd tell him when he turns 18 he can do as he desires...he can rebel all he likes, as long as he's living under your roof you have the right to make the rules...don't encourage the stupidity of such a young marriage, when you know it's almost certain not to last long...how will the two of them afford their own place, utilities, food, etc at their ages with the types of jobs they might be able to get???

Puh-leez...

If this girl is so perfect for him then she will wait on your son. They are young and don't yet realize that love is a practical decision more than an intense feeling. You can not give into your son's childish demands to avoid him being upset with you. That is selfishness on your part and it will hurt him more than it will help him. Plus, he's 16 - he's going to be upset with you about something anyway. Neither one of them have figured out who they are in life yet. They haven't yet accepted that they will change as they get older and neither of them know for sure if they will like who the other one becomes. Also, at 16, rather 17 according to the date they've set, he can't financially support a wife - especially without a high school diploma much less a college degree. Finances are the number one killers of marriage. They both need to be aware of that. They probably don't even have a five year plan yet because they're too busy thinking about right now. Sit down and have that conversation with the both of them. Love is patient and that means willing to wait. They don't have to break up, but they need to understand that their hormones will not dictate your love for your son. You two have to be responsible parents no matter how they feel. Just remind them that you're making your decision in love and when he becomes an adult you will respect whatever decision they make on their own.

how many guys on this planet are still with the girl they were dating at his age?

while it does happen - it's not a safe bet!

say no...if it's going to last they can make it at least until he's legal - if they make it that far then at least they have a better chance...and if she's 20 and still willing to date an 18 year old...in my opinion that would just be weird - but to each his own

if he resents you and rebels that's the chance you have to take - you're the PARENTS you have to act like it - be strong and do what you KNOW is right

yeah, you should have the long talk about exactly why - and do everything in your power to get him to understand exactly what marriage means - there's no way he gets it yet - and he probably won't even after you try to get it into his head

stay calm if you can - if he feels attacked he'll be more likely to react badly

and you can always have him read all of the answers on here :)

Tell him straight out Legally he cannot get married until he is 18 and there is a very good reason 16 year olds are not allowed to get married, wait a couple of years and if at 18 he still wants to marry her then he can go ahead and do it.

He may freak out and resent you and all that BUT that just proves that he is not mature enough to be getting married yet.

they have only been going together for a year and a half which would be ok for adults but a teenager NO WAY.

It is in the end you and your husbands choice but don't give in just cause he gets mad and threatens stupid stuff.

If he thinks he is ready to get married, ask him where will they live, how will he help support her, does he have any idea how much apartments, groceries, health insurance, furniture, etc cost?

Also both your son and his girl friend should meet with a marriage counselor who can help them determine if they are emotionally ready to get married.

As the mother of two boys, 27 and 21, I don't think your son would resent you for being the parent and at least insisting on him waiting. If they do love each other, the love will only grow with maturity.

Yeah he will resent you - as every teenager that doesn't get what he/she wants resents their parents. I know my niece met the only man she ever wanted to be with at 15, then a new one at 15 1/2, another at 16, another at 18..... she's now 20 and engaged but she's now also entering the work force and looking at things through more mature eyes...

You are the parents and at 16 you know what is better for your child than your hormonal child who is likely thinking with his you-know-what than his brain. As the parent I support you saying NO! Let him wait until he is 18 and make his own mistakes... then they are his to own and he can't blame you for them.

In two years they will both grow (up) and change and it's likely the sizzle will fizzle...

You would think after 16 years you would have a better hold on this parenting stuff.

Obviously a 16 year old boy should not be getting married, get this through to your son, and yourself, for that matter.

How would your son and his wife support themselves? Where would they live? Getting married means they are prepared to start their own home and possibly their own family. At their age that's just not possible. It's cute that they are in love, but they need to be practical too. Put your foot down and make your son realize the reality of what he wants to do. If they are really in love they can wait a few years.

I completely agree with fall gal about living expenses and everything. But also who the heck is paying for this wedding? Your son is 16 and I don't think he's not mature to know how he feels but I do think that at 16 his obligations are not to marry and support a wife or family. You can talk to him about how you love his girlfriend how you accept her as part of the family but that you will not give him permission to get married. He will just have to wait till he is 18. Hey truth is Julie he is going to recent you if you tell him no but at 17 if he is getting divorce he will blame you for letting him get married at 16. So damn if you do damn if you don't. You need to stress to him you think 16 is to young but hell 21 is still to young to get married. He's not ready for prenumpts, and can't even get an apartment in his name so there for the 18 yr old would be taking care of him.

If you do decide to give in and let him get married make him get out. get out. get out. get out. He will need to go. Married people do not live with their parents. And as sad as that is that he may not finidh school or may not go to college but thats the risk he will be taking of being a husband and moving out. And it doesn't even matter if she has her own place or not if she still lives with her parents. You need to make him get out. Thats the only way that he will understand that this is completely serious.

Stand your ground. Tell your son that you love this girl and that she's great, but you want him to wait until he's of age. Leave the "we don't want you to make a mistake" out of it because that can sound insulting to a kid. He may very well feel differently about this girl by the time he's of age, so wait it out.