Best way to get the missus out of bed in the morning?

Question

If the missus is having a well deserved lie-in on a sunday morning, i've found the best way to get her up so that she can make me a cup of tea is,go to the freezer and wrap your hands around a frozen chicken or bag of peas for a few minutes, then run upstairs and ram your freezing cold hands down her back and on her ***.
She's out of bed in a jiffy, i suggest you try it too, tell me how you get on.

djones · Accepted Answer

Just say the neighbours are arguing  in the street, she'll be up and in the window before you can count to 3.

? · Answer

you're able to say sorry through fact she sounds maaaad. perhaps you're able to lease some dvd's to computer screen along with her to make up or you would be able to desire to ask your self her interior the morning by potential of waking up in the previous and making her a breakfast in mattress (crepes, gaufres, warm Chocolate,...).

Lester Krinklesac · Answer

You sound like the bloke that is married to Daisy in the show, "Keeping Up Appearances".

Zivtele_me · Answer

Oh so you can get your lazy fat **** up and go make your hands cold, but you cant make your own tea?

? · Answer

get some regular olive oil and give her a full body massage with an awesome happy ending
shell cook-up an aw-some breakfast.....
god speed

AL THE HAT · Answer

open all the doors and start cooking bacon it works every time. bye the way make sure it drifts into the room where she is sleeping

Kelly · Answer

Make your own cup of tea and stop being such a selfish looser

Mick W · Answer

inserting large ice cubes, have an even more dramatic effect on them, but don't expect a sunday roast to be cooked afterwards!!!!

Anonymous · Answer

The time you muk around doing that. u could of made ur own coffeee???? how simple?

Hal · Answer

Wet the bed.

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Best way to get the missus out of bed in the morning?

15 Answers