Asking people when they are going to 'start a family'?

I must admit that I too sometimes ask this question to my cousin who's been married for 3 years now and I didn't realize at the time that it can be taken as offensive or uncomfortable. We grew up together and are as close as brothers and sisters, so I guess I just took it for granted that it may actually hurt or anger them to answer it.

In our defense, it's usually the natural order of things, so people feel like it's a normal question to ask. Most people do get married to have a family, not just for the sake of having a life-long partner (most, not all of course).

I would get the picture if they responded something like this, "We're not ready to bring children into this world just yet, but you'll be the first to know if and when it happens."

You've enlightened me and I will stop asking them from now on...Take care

Honey I totally agree with you, its a very annoying thing and totally none of their business. Why they do this I really don't know. Its so wrong of then like you say there are many reasons that are both personal and private to the couple including the one you gave, plus couples sometimes choose not to have children - they too have a right to their choice.

There are a couple of answers you could give, but of course it depends on the person who is asking, how you feel about them. If its someone you don't know that well simply say :-

When the time is right my husband and I will decide that thank you. Then change the subject quickly and talk about something else, that way you have put them right in their place in a polite but strong way.

If its someone you don't like you can tell them '' Haven't you anything going on in your life to occupy you enough so as to not ask impertinent questions that do not concern you''

Its strange but some people have asked this question through all the past generations and it surprises me that they still are that nosey, and really what interest is it to them really.

Your perfectly right in feeling annoyed by this by the way.

I think that question is so ridiculous and out of line. I hate that people think they get to tell you "hey, it's time to start with the babies!". I mean really? How rude!

I would respond with "I already have one and we're very happy". It's true... you have a partner and presumably you also have parents, siblings, etc. You have a family! Who decided that a family isn't complete until you have your own kids?

In most cases, I don't think people are being deliberately rude so much as just being thoughtless. I think it's becoming less common now though. It's a bit like people don't tend to insist on you having an alcoholic drink now if you say no whereas a few years back they might have insisted.

Its wierd if you say it at a family reunion to a bunch of your own cousins.

"I don't feel comfortable discussing my uterus with you. However you will be invited to the baby shower and feel free to bring a gift."

It IS rude, I agree.

How about a simple

"We haven't discussed it yet" and leave it at that.

"Well, nothing's happening yet ..."