alcoholics anonymous question?

Hey friend,

I'm no expert on AA, but I can tell you about my experience, and hope it helps. As far as I know AA does not claim to be the only solution to alcoholism. However, I've found that AA's solution is single and it is a spiritual one. Those who are seriously alcoholic need serious help - I can't diagnose for you, but here's some helpful info.

Regardless of what you have heard in meetings or on this board - everyone is entitled to their own opinion - I would recommend you go ahead an read the Doctor's opinion in the Big Book. It was written by Dr. Silkworth. He was a top doctor of the top medical center on alcoholism back in the forties who saw thousands of alcoholics suffer and painfully watched most bad alcoholics keep on drinking until death. This guy was not an AA member but he had real experience and has some good authority on the subject. He's got real credentials. He dedicated his life to helping the alcoholic and stood on the front lines of the problem.

Dr. Silkworth explains that an alcoholic is "different" mentally and physically from a normal person. Physically speaking, an alcoholic develops a craving after a "first drink" or so, and that craving is nearly impossible to stop. That is abnormal with a temperate or moderate drinker. Most people can drink a few and put it down. So, ask yourself do you have a hard time stopping? The Big Book even says to go ahead and try some moderate drinking and see how it goes. I think it along the lines of what lefty was saying. Next is the mental problem. Mentally, the alcoholic is abnormal in that he/she becomes obsessed with the next drink. That is he/she may be able to abstain for some time but eventually he/she will convince themselves it is ok to drink. Despite possibly losing family, kids repeated DUI's, etc. etc. When I read your question, I can't help to wonder if you are suffering from this mental state of trying so hard to figure how you can drink normally. A normal drinker just doesn't have to go through all that. I think you notice that and agree that you are not a normal drinker.

A problem as large as mine and obsession, I believe, could not be helped by a blog. I will not say moderation drinking programs don't work - I have only never come across anyone that has had success with one. I have never, never, never seen an alcoholic pick up drinking again successfully - I have seen many try and fail and 3 people I call friends die over the last year. I guess, I don't think I will become unallergic to alcohol. I have witnessed others and it just get worse. This is only my experience.

Maybe you can pick up normally again - what does your gut tell you? Do you have a gut to listen to these days? I believe that I found some sort of "gut" some connection with an inner conscientiousness, a high-power if you will, thanks to the AA and the 12 steps. At least for me, I never grew up and never felt like a man until I worked through the AA steps. I can be honest with myself and those around me. So, can you play in that gray area of - just a drink here and there. I lost that ability a long time ago and I realized I need to play it straight if I'm going to be ok.

Best of luck with love.

I agree with Ray--it sounds like what you are looking for is more along the lines of harm reduction or moderation management rather than AA, which is an abstinence-based program. If you aren't interested in being abstinent, AA just isn't the right approach for you. And then there are the "bill's of the world..."AA doesn't judge...you're an idiot..." I wonder if they even realize how they sound, or how many people they drive away with that sort of nonsense????

Anyway, here are a few links for you to look at:

http://hamsnetwork.org/

http://www.moderation.org/

Genetics may make one person more likely to become an alcoholic than the next person, but there is no "addict gene". This is typical of the misinformation that one picks up in AA/NA. The only way to become addicted is to abuse alcohol over a period of time.

You're not powerless, you don't have a disease, and you don't need to attend meetings for the rest of your life.

Most people who abuse alcohol and other drugs, do so when they are in their late teens and twenties. About 80% of them quit or learn to moderate on their own with no treatment, it's called "maturing out".

AA is an abstinence-based program, makes no sense to attend if you're not looking for abstinence. What you've been talking about is harm reduction. Here's a group that discusses alcohol harm reduction:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/hamshrn/

Anonymity is optional. It is at the level of the media. The founders asked that members regulate themselves and not reveal their identity at a public level when talking about their AA membership. There were a number of reasons for this. Firstlly they thought the celebrity who spouted how great AA was one week and got drunk the next would harm AA's reputation. Also, they felt it put a lot of pressure on people trying to stay sober if the media started taking an interest in whether they made it or not. And also, they wanted people who were worried about there identity being revealed outside AA to feel reassured that their membership was not public. So anonymity is at the level of the media and public, but not necessarily within AA. You will note that Bob doesn't reveal his last name.

if you had listened in AA, you wouldnt be asking.

you cant be half sober, anymore than you can be half pregnant.

simply speaking, you think you can beat AA

if so, our hat is off to you.

maybe you havent had enough pain, or caused enough to others

you cannot split your addiction into managable parts.

The whole thing is about unmanagability

go to AA and listen to the stories of those who were dumb enough to try and adapt AA to suit their needs

And come back and tell AA about your wonderful Steps, which will have to be your own version

and tell us about the glorious success of your wonderful plan.

AA doesnt judge

Youre an idiot

Isn't 1 of the steps that you need to sponsor someone? You wouldn't not make a good sponsor if you are drinking on the weekends.