Would your advice be different about breaking up?

I believe that there's more invested in the relationship once a couple of married, and especially if they have children.

I've been married nearly 31 years. My wife and I went through a thing some time ago where some of these kinds of questions came up -- not that there was "no reason" to stay together. But we were in a situation where we were likely taking one another for granted in a lot of ways. I worked very hard to demonstrate to her the depths of my feelings, because I suddenly realized how far those depths were. I had certainly taken for granted that we loved one another and that we would always be there for each other. When this stability is suddenly questions, you find yourself reaching deep down for answers why.

All our hard work paid off, and I'm certain we're closer than ever and as much in love with one another as we ever were. For me, it's more.

So, in our case, there was something wonderful worth fighting for. That married couple would hopefully have the same thing in their relationship.

I would have to say that my advice would be a slight bit different for the married couple than the dating couple. For this reason: if you are dating someone, you are trying to figure out if the person is compatible with you and the relationship works out. People generally do this before they get married so they know what they are getting into. However, when you take the step and get married you are making a committment to that person. You should already know what to expect out of the marriage-that is what dating is for. Sometimes people just change, and that happens-but I think if you are married to someone you have made a committment to that person and you at least owe it to each other to work things out (assuming there is no abuse, infidelity, or criminal activity going on). If you loved each other enough to get married and be happy for some time, who is to say that you can't get back to that? It could just be that you have lost touch with each other, or something simple that's easily fixable. The reason I would say that the dating couple should probably just break it off is because if they can't even maintain the relationship thus far, how would marriage be in the future? And I'm sure they don't want to waste each other's time, which is exactly what they would be doing if they stayed in the relationship. Then again, different people-different circumstances...it would really depend on the couple.

The only thing about your question is that most people, excluding myself, would have told the first couple to end it bc it's been 4 years and the "jerk" has yet to propose and she's a "loser" for staying with him all these years without getting a ring.

You also have to consider that the married couple has been together longer (unless it was something done in vegas at the spur of the moment).

My advice would be the same for both all things being equal. Yes, it would be easier for the couple that's dating to move on bc there are no legal ties, but I've been in 2 long term relationships before I got married and it sucked for me when we broke up and it took a long time for me to move on from both relationships.

Note:

So my answer as to whether or not they are dependent on both couples facing the same trials.

The married couple vowed to stay together for the rest of their lives. The boyfriend and girlfriend were never willing to go that extra step. Of course the advice for the married couple would be different.

Marriage is not just a piece of paper - it is a life commitment. Being married does make a significant difference to the relationship.

Yes, my advice would be different to the married couple. They made the decision to make a lifelong commitment to each other. People in in this day think that it is just a peice of paper, which is why the marriage success rate is so low. This couple needs to honor their commitment to each other. Seek ways of improving their relationship and improving the spark. Try new things together. Talk about what made them fall in love and get back to that place.

It takes work to make a marriage work. You don't throw our a marriage like the garbage just becuase it is easier.

Good Luck

My advise would be the same for either couple.

Being in a rut is something both partners must be willing to change.

But if you're in a loveless relationship, then why stay?

Our daily lives become routine enough as is.

The alarm goes off, you get ready for work, you deal with the crap from your job, come home, make dinner, sit in front of the tv, go to bed and start over.

And relationships can become just as routine.

If people want their relationship to work, they'll do things to keep it exciting.

Whether it's a date night out, a weekend get away, friends over for dinner and games, or just taking a walk through the park.

the foremost ingredient you may rigidity approximately is a thank you to make your self satisfied. If he's no longer keen to alter, then confident, leaving him could be your terrific determination, in any different case that's going to harm you interior the long-term. to break up you've a great style of acquaintances accessible for you for convenience, and additionally you may tell him which you relatively choose issues to artwork and additionally you already gave him a great style of opportunities, yet provided that he can't smash his habbit, you may smash out. that's going to likely be complicated and extremely nerve racking, notwithstanding that's something you may do. don't be completly on my own with him the two, that's an extremely undesirable concept. you'll be someplace the place everybody is around, yet provides sufficient privateness to declare what desires to be reported.

This reminds me of how everyone (including my girlfriend) get on me about getting married. Why? We been living together 6 years and have a 4-year-old. What is marriage really? A piece of paper? It doesnt mean much in my opinion.

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If you are looking for someone to blame or someone else to put the emotional and physical work into saving the marriage, again, it's going to fail.

I like to think that I'd tell them to try...but I'd probably tell the unmarried pair to move on.

The fact is that it takes WORK to keep a marriage alive, and if they couldn't make the effort BEFORE the ceremony, they probably shouldn't have the ceremony. It is ALWAYS easier/better to part ways if you aren't legally hitched.