What do you think? So cellophane?

Question

I just found this poem from a few years ago. What's your opinion on it?


Lollipop dreams melt fast in this inferno reality.
Open those pretty, cold blue eyes and look around. Where are your fairies & unicorns now?
 I'm all that you have. No magic, just manipulation. On both sides of the sea.
So cross this tempestuous ocean, if you really think you can. You be Ponce de Leon and I'll be Columbus.
 Revered and cruel. This new world is ours.
 When hating is so easy there's no room for forgiveness.
I need something to hold so I can let go. But don't give me your hand.
I'd rather fall.
 A little Ted Hughes meets Salvadore Dali. I'll be Gala over Plath any day.

"The search for truth is more precious than its possession."
Einstein didn't know you.

Can I Be Your Pet? · Accepted Answer

I think it's awesome! Packed with so much stuff! Kinda reminds me of some ee cummings lines I've read in the past. Good work.

? · Answer

Interesting, I really quite like the line about the tempestuous ocean and the reference to all of the different peoples. Only bit I didn't like was that it was multiple sentences on one line. At least to me, poetry is manipulated a great deal through the structure of it, and it's grammar. I feel that if you broke up some of the sentences...it may run better. However, the meaning of the poem is well-done, I also love the line about "this inferno reality". 

Perhaps you will critique my poem? Let me know if you can interpret it. =3

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What do you think? So cellophane?

2 Answers