Ladies: Do you think a wife should take her husband's name?

Well, where I come from, it is considered very traditional, an HONOR and very respectful IF the bride takes the name of her husband to be; however, the "younger generation" seems to think that it is okay with hyphenating two last names with the bride's original last name first hyphenated by the groom's last name. I can only imagine what will a couple who both have hyphenated names to start with would do if they were to get married. LOL that would be a very long name if they too also chose to hyphenate their already hyphenated last names.... A lot of the more traditional couples tend to give the wife's maiden name to their child as a middle name. It should not matter as it is after all, a personal choice, what ever you may decide to do, I wish the best of luck, and Congratulations on your up coming nuptials! =P

You know, I am not a women, but I think you will let me answer anyway.

You seem torn, have you factored other family members for the ability of both families name's to live on?

Like, if you have all sisters, then normally, your family's last name wouldn't live on. Then I would keep your name.

Lets say he has all sisters, then normally the only way his family's name would keep on is if he held onto his last name.

I know looking at outside factors isn't the best thing when facing a personal problem, but this is a good way to break the tie so to speak.

Like me, my last name really thinned out during WW2 (and thinned out even more during the cold war). And its still thin, I can count on my two hands all the people with my last name. ( My last name is in many museums and history records) Needless to say, my family was a real pain in the as* to oppressive governments. I hope to live up to it.

So personally, if I was being married, I would ask for her to take my name. Ask, not demand.

*EDIT*

"It seems hypocritical and self-entitled. It's fine not to be into traditions, but it's iffy, picking and choosing the traditions that suit you and ignoring the rest."

First off marriage to me means commitment to both. Shes paying for half the ring, and I am not kneeling to her. I'm not her servent and never will be. Period.

Also, after several dates with a women, I ask,

" Marriage, is it all about the man, or the women?"

"self-entitled" Doesn't float in my book.

You're getting married? Congrats! : ) I hope you guys are very happy.

If you want to take his name, go for it. If not, then don't. It really doesn't much matter; you're just as married no matter whose name you have. And if he's supportive of you either way, even better.

I took my husband's last name because I wanted to. I think it's a nice tradition, and I figured that when we had kids someday it would make things simpler than if I hyphenated or kept my maiden name. I'm all for simplification. If, say, I was the last child in my family line and the name died with me, I'd probably have either kept it or hyphenated it, but that wasn't the case.

Interesting question.

Not only don't I think she "should" - I've hit a juncture where I can't imagine marrying a woman and having her take my name!

It was an evolution. As a young child, I never really questioned it. As a teenager I thought "I wouldn't mind if a wife would keep her name". In college, it became more "I would appreciate a woman keeping her own name", to my current position, where the notion of a woman taking a man's name seems a bit absurd, at least in any relationship *I* would wish to have, and I can't imagine a love with a woman, whom I would wish to call my MATE, my PARTNER, my EQUAL, whom I would expect to give up her name to take mine! After all, it heralds back to a tradition where women were considered to give up their identity to graft their lives onto that of the men they marry.

I am not a fan of most hyphenates, either. Unless they somehow have the ring of poetry to them. To me, it's like a woman who WANTS to keep her last name, but doesn't have the strength of her convictions enough to go all the way with it, so she feels compelled to keep with tradition enough to add his name to hers.

The exception to this would be, interestingly, if the man AND the woman both hyphenated their names! The problem with the hyphenate is that ONLY the woman seems to do it. But if the man ALSO did it; that could seem less misogynistic.

A name is just a name, and by any other name does not a rose still smell as sweet (to paraphrase Juliet), but it's in the CHOICE of CHOOSING a name, where there is symbolism.

I like a woman with a POWERFUL sense of self... and keeping her name would reflect that :-)

Hello,

i am divorced and had to fight to keep my married name, it has been my name for 19 years and it is me! the same name as my kids and my passport

it must annoy my ex that the judge rule i keep it lol! ( only human)

why not change unless it is a problem professionally i did have a friend who decided not to take her husbands name his name was large [ she works in a school and said the mrs large , sounded like a mr man character]

I think it makes it easier for a couple if they have the same last name, and easier on any children they might have. If you have a child with a hyphenated last name and they marry someone with a hyphenated last name, how are they going to decide on a last name to call themselves or give to their children? A bit of the traditionalist I am, but I even felt strange in my mid-twenties taking my husband's last name. I felt like kind of a fake, to be honest. I still have the last name of the last man I married, simply because I like it and I think it sounds a lot better than my maiden name. I have a younger sister who married in her 30's and couldn't take her husband's name because "she was too used to her maiden name." They have children but decided on her husband's last name for them.

He went after the woman, he took her on dates, he bought the ring, he proposed. He has shown his commitment to her. The name is the least she can do to show her commitment to him.

Marriage is a union of two people. Don't think of it as losing identity and history but as starting a new future together.

Are you an published writer, artist, musician or celebrity such that your name is your career? Consider this...your last name is your Dad's anyway. It is patriarchal already.

This only happened historically and traditionally if dowry or an interest in the estate of the husband was transferred..But these days, such old cultural artifacts need not be,

I would want my wife to take my last name. There's nothing oppressive about it, its just more traditional. Your children will have your husbands last name.. shouldn't you all be the "so-and-so family" or the "so-and-so household"..? If the woman doesn't take the husbands last name it just seems babyish.. like she's trying too hard to prove something. I wouldn't want to be introducing my wife to people as someone who refused to take my last name. What a slap in the face! besides, If you get divorced you can have your maiden name back lol.

Either way.. I wish you a lot happiness. mo'afagh bashed.. (from your name I've always just assumed you were Persian). Good luck, bride-to-be.

I have always been ambivalent about this, because I like my maiden name. I have always tended to use both names interchangeably, dependng on the circumstances. I use my married name socially, but I still have my maiden name on my bank account and credit cards for instance. But my married name is on my passport. I like to have the best of both worlds.