I am looking for resources in Southern California to help deal with elderly care issues and custodial situatio?

I went through a similar situation with my grandmother... after 5 years of taking care of her, she became more than I could handle and required around the clock attention at a facility with other people. She preferred to be in her own place with family members. After a few months, she started enjoying the other peoples company and the activities that were offered. Whether your relative is able to stay in a home situation or not, I would ask neighbors or relatives for references for the caregiver or the center they are being sent into, so you don't end up in this situation again. Unfortunately, other relatives were sent to certain places were they were left malnourished, constantly unattended and ignored. The only other option is to move them to your place if you are able to provide the adequate care or hire someone to do so in your home. It is never an easy decision any way you decide to go...