How to socialize and connect with women?

When a woman says that you are too "nice" to date, usually what she means is that you try so hard to please her that you come across as a needy doormat. It is an ironic fact of life that if you try too hard to impress someone, it usually backfires, and you wind up repulsing them. It is best if you just relax and didn't give a darn about impressing this one particular person. If she rejects you, so what? It was HER loss that she missed out on getting to know someone as loyal and kind as you. If she rejects you in a rude way, then thank her for letting you know up front that she was a shallow, cruel, immature brat that you wouldn't have wanted to waste your valuable time dating anyway. Relax, and don't take things so seriously, and you will do better.

People have literally written books on the subject, so it is impossible to cover everything here. But In regards to you "delaying" your approach, as you said, it usually creeps women out when you stand in the corner by yourself and just stare at her without saying anything, and it makes matters worse if you follow her around trying to work up the courage to speak to her (women hate being stalked by a stranger with an intense, nervous look who may or may not attack them).

Mystery, in the book "The Mystery Method" suggested that you refrain from approaching your target directly. He talks to other people first, and then works his way around the room, getting to know other people until he gets around to her. He employs the "three second rule" in that he starts to speak to someone within three seconds of coming in, and he doesn't go more than three seconds between conversations. That may be too intense for you, but the key point is to socialize, instead of standing around by yourself looking like the creepy loner who is just scoping out his next victum. If you are laughing and joking and having a good time, then that makes you look "safe" and "fun" at the same time, so it smoothes things somewhat when you finally talk to her (And as a bonus, if you discover that she has a boyfriend, then you've probably already spoke to him previously, so he thinks of you as a cool guy, and he's not going to kick your butt for speaking to his GF).

As a side note, if you accidentially make eye contact with your intended target from across the room, don't immediately look away like some guilty little boy who has been caught doing something wrong (makes you look immature, if not suspicious). Keep looking into her eyse for a few moments, and them casually look away and start talking to someone else. Makes you look confident and relaxed.

I suggest that You hit the books and do some studying. Most of the books listed at the first link, below, can be found for free at the local public library. The best one, David D's "Double Your Dating", is, sadly, only available as an ebook that you have to pay (about $30) to download, but it has some limited 1 month money back guarantee so you can read it and return it for a refund if you don't like it. And he has a free newsletter of advice.

Nothing works on everyone, everywhere, and nothing works FOR everyone, everywhere, so I suggest that you read some of these books, get some different perspectives, and then try the techniques out in real life. And if something doesn't work for you, so what? What you are doing now obviously doesn't work either, so why not try something new?

On a last note, don't pick up women at bars and clubs unless you just want a quick lay. I suggest that you join a social club that meets to pursue a hobby. this is a good way to meet people in a low pressure environment. Try "meetup" dot com for starters.

Let this girl's question sink into your head (link, below). Even though she is young, she makes a good point: you cannot win a woman's heart with money. So don't make the mistake of trying to get a woman to like you by buying her drinks, or taking her out to expensive dinners. It only makes you look weak and desperate, and it will get you used in the end. Next time that a woman asks you to buy her a drink, make a joke and say, "Why? Are you an alcoholic?" If she cannot take a joke, then you didn't want to date her anyway, because she was probably a "barfly" who uses men for free drinks. Read this question well, as it says A LOT about how women really think:

Start by never puckering up when you have a picture taken of you. What you are basically asking is, "how does one quickly become romantically involved with one or more women". If you want my advice, it is as follows. Stop being lame. Go out. You are young, I'm sure your peers are throwing house parties and inviting many of their friends over. Learn how to have fun, make people laugh, show them that you aren't all about work. The only way to break your "nice guy" image is to not be a nice guy. This doesn't mean you should turn into a jerk, but learn how have to a little bit of an edge. Be confident, exciting, interesting and fun. Women often love juxtapositions, like a man in a great suit with a neck tattoo, a doctor who practices mixed martial arts, a college professor who is also a biker, et cetera. Anything that adds a little kick to you will make women (and people in general) more interested in you. And of course, the best way to meet women is to make it happen. Dress well, go out, talk to them and make your intentions less than innocent (but not vulgar) from the very beginning. Intelligece, tact, timing and luck will all play a factor early on, but experience will be your best friend later.

Most women, when they talk to each other, usually tell each other funny stores about things that happened to them, or things that they and their friends did. Women like to hear entertaining, funny stories about the lives of people that they care about, because it makes them feel emotionally "connected" to the speaker.

If you want to be a good conversationalist, then when you are sitting around the house with nothing else to do, instead of watching TV, get out some paper and try to think about things to talk about. The act of writing things down helps you remember what to say. If you cannot think of anything, then that might be a clue to you that you need to get out more and do some interesting things with your life. If you are a boring person with no life, then don't expect other people to want to share that life with you.

It also helps if you don't do all of the talking. Ask her questions, like what is her favorite movie & why, and then try "reflective listening" and ask her to say more about something that she said. People like to talk about themselves, but are afraid to say too much, lest they sound too pompous.

This is going to sound hopelessly hoky, but would you consider taking a Dale Carnegie course? The last person I know who did that was a well-known and highly-regarded academic and novelist. She said she'd found it a very practical, helpful solution to a problem she had with shyness and inarticulacy.

Just today on the front page of yahoo, there was a highlighted article "Sure-fire conversation starters." I couldn't click it as my work blocks "dating" things. Maybe you can find it and it will be of some use to you.

Friendships a lot of times develop into something far more intimate. Try not to just drop it at the friendship line.

And look into body language.

Buy a book called ''The Game'' by Neil Strauss. It will probably help you.

Be yourself, and be approachable. Have an interest in something, or many things, that you can talk about.

Be Yourself and Be Nice