Does this make you cringe?

Unfortunately I have heard or seen colleagues say things that I have thought to be totally unacceptable, either to a client or to other staff about a client, and since were supposed to promote equality, empowerment and to encourage the people we are working with and for, it saddens me to see this happen. I have spoken to the person/s about what was said or done, to clarify why they did what they did, if they have no remorse then I will make a formal complaint.

I have also had people who are supposed to advocate & support me, say and do things that have been detrimental to my wants or needs, and in one particular instance the person did what they thought should be done, not what I wanted, (which turned out I was right) so I came down on the advocate like a ton of bricks.

I have always maintained that "I don't work for my clients, I work with them", and always try to think how would I feel if I was in their position, and I have a tendency to hold professional people in high regard too, especially if their in the disability sector, and that includes myself, but I am NOT perfect, and I do make mistakes, and if I have said or done something wrong, then I want to know about it, so I can rectify it or apologize.

Yes, I have seen-heard Disability Advocates that made comments that made me cringe.

Example: There was a mother that had asked a question with the details that their 3 year old son was born in Central Asia and was diagnosed with Polio and a Professional Disability Advocate-Activist PWD responded that the mother had misunderstood the diagnosis or that the mother was a fake and that the mother's answer sounded all the more suspicious.

The child's mother was extremely upset on how the Professional Disability Advocate-Activist PWD treated her.

I no longer consider the Professional Disability Advocate-Activist PWD to be a Professional Disability Advocate-Activist and I no longer consider the Professional Disability Advocate-Activist to be a PWD all because on how they answered and treated the child's mother.

I might have an example of this.

I have Fibromyalgia, and a lot of friends/family members have made hurtful comments to me while trying to be helpful. For example:

I have a cousin who is very overweight, due partly to a health problem. I am a little overweight myself, but having Fibromyalgia makes exercise difficult. I once made a comment to my cousin about my low energy, resulting from the Fibromyalgia, and she said, “Then, what you need to do is join a gym.”

I find this offensive because she is not a doctor, she does not know why I have little energy, and she does not know what my requirements for exercise are!

I have another friend named Sarah who has Dwarfism. Technically, I believe she has a learning disability. Sarah is the most judgemental of all. She constantly implies that I am lazy and spoiled and makes claims about what I should be doing about my condition, most of which contradict what my doctors recommend.

I totally hear ya! Personally, I think the most judgemental are those who feel inadequate. My theory is that the negative assumptions people make are usually a reflection of something negative about themselves. If laziness is implied, the person is very lazy herself, if the person is controlling about your health they have little control over their own bodies, etc ...

Anyways I’d love to hear more about the situation if you ever care to elaborate or vent.

We have neighbors who have full-time residential care by a health care agency. They are elderly Down Syndrome men. Sometimes the workers call them "The Boys", but the caregivers mean it in a caring way, not disparaging at all. After all, we have been neighbors for a long time and have gotten to know the professional caregivers more than the residents who do not really communicate at all.

I do have a problem with BD/LD school teachers who are rude and crude in their language. When the teachers behave cocky and with sarcasm, that confuses and agitates adolescents & teens. Be civil!

I often tell this story because it affected me so. I was taking a class from the head of the rehab counseling department and he was talking about his experience of working with people in an institution and compared my son who has Down syndrome to them. He said they were nothing like my son and were much lower functioning than he. I told him no - the only difference between my son and the children he worked with was that my son as raised in a loving and supportive home. If he had lived his life in an institution he would be just like them. He questioned this, which made me doubt his real ability to understand the value of living in the community versus confined to an institution.

Since my niece has been in a group home I have heard endless things that make me cringe, but these are from Direct Support Professionals, who I have ceased to think of as advocates in any way.

"I don't care if it is not your laundry, it's in your basket so you should wash it"

"No, you don't need to wear gloves when you empty the bathroom garbage" (It had disposed of menstrual products in it.)

"Its OK that we left the door unlocked, we didn't know when you would be back" (The group home always has cars in the drive - no cars - no one home - anyone could have walked in and presented a danger to her/us if they were robbing the place.)

Yep.

nope, sorry