muslim girl compared to muslim boy?

i feel bad for you. but u know what, i can also understand what your parents are trying to do. raising a girl is really hard, it really is. and perhaps somewhere deep inside they feel like they messed up with your brother and just can't admit it or don't know how to admit it. they are only trying to protect you. though their way of doing it may not be right.

are you desi by any chance? your parents sound real desi to me- indian, paki, bangali???. i have gone through the same thing you have. i wanted to wear shorter skirts, and tighter tops etc etc, i used to fight with my mom and dad ALL the time. but that was a loooong time ago while i was in high school and college. but i got married three years ago and have my own child now. and strangely, the parents i used to hate so much have become my best friends. now i myself don't want to wear tight clothes and shorts and i look back and think how foolish was i?????? and about going out and partying and stuff. yeah its tough to miss out on all of that. u feel like everyones having fun except you. but u know what, ten years later (and ten years will fly by, trust me), u won't even care what hangout u missed or wat party u couldn't go to. u will laugh at urself and think, did i really think those things were so important?

the point i'm trying to make is: raising kids is tough, esp raising a girl in this society to be a good muslim. the thing with our parents is that there is way too much of a generation gap between them and us. its just too wide. (i don't htink the gap will be very wide when it comes time to parenting our kids, the next generation, i don't think we will face these problems). our parents come from a different culture and its hard for us to read their intentions or understand their habits. we're from two different worlds.

i just want to tell u that the fact that you're always comparing yourself to your brother is hurting you. forget him. just look at yourself and think about yourself. is it really right for you to wear something so tight? is it really right for you to wear shorter pants/shorts? is it really right? why do we girls want to wear such clothes??? don't say "i just feel like it"- cuz thats not true. we want to look good and look attractive and look sexy too. i know the feeling, been there done that. but ask yourself, is it really right????

after a few years (i'm guessing) u'll be off to college. ur parents won't be able to control who ur friends are and what you wear. but atleast u'll be more mature to know whats right for u and wats wrong for u. so for the time being, be patient with ur parents. let them say whatever they want. when u pray to God, tell Him, look i am being so patient with my parents who are really annoying me, please reward me for my patience. trust me he will. there is great reward in kids who are patient and respectful to their parents. TRUST ME!!!! ur a muslim, ur first thing should be to respect ur parents. i used to cry so much when my parents would be like that and i'd sit and pray to God and be like why the hell are they like that? but i was patient. and u know what happened? i went to college and made a bunch of girl friends through the MSA. they were fun loving and religious at the same time and my parents absolutely adored all of them. i felt so comfortable with them, i dind't feel any pressure to look a certain way to be apart of their group, they understood my back ground and my religion. all of a sudden, my parents didn't care where i went or who i was with, they really trusted my friends and my choice in friends. life totally changed after that. my parents are my best freinds now.

so be patient. ur time will come when u will make ur own choices. but for now, let ur parents be parents. even if they are annoying, just ignore it. God will reward you for ur patience, no matter how bad u might be, if u are kind to ur parents, u will be rewarded.

Girl, I am stuck I the same spot. I have brothers how is 15,16 and 18 and does the same things as your bother does(besides the porn thing) but still I get yelled at. (I am 14 and also a muslim) .The best solution is

:every time you know your parents are going to give your a lecture, interrupt them. Trust me this is the only soliton. Once my mom going to give my a lecture about the guys I hang out with and the kind of cloth I wear around them. The only thing I did was I interrupted her. It not the best way but it's the only way. 😋😋😋

Welcome to America! Your parents are more traditional Muslims and you have grown up in a non-Muslim society were women and men are equal. That's why the Muslims prefer to have Islam and Sharia in place, so you can have a way of life more in accordance to the teachings of the prophet Muhammad. But you need to realize that in the Muslim faith women need to submit to men, so in a way is a religion that favors men, and men and women are not equal. That is the bottom line of what you are going thru right now. I hope it all turns out the best for you. But remember, this is America, you should do what your heart tells you, right now you are young, but when you get older you should chose for yourself.

You and your sister are still quite young yet. It sounds like your parents love you very much and want the best for you, even if you don't think so. There's a lot of "not-so-nice" people out in the world. No matter how modestly you dress, there will be those boys/men who will look at you with lust. I think your parents don't want that to happen, so they are trying to prevent it for as long as possible. There's usually a "double standard" when it comes to guys and girls. If you don't know what that means, it's basically "two sets of rules"...one for girls, and one for guys. It's unfair, but it's true.

Generally parents think that guys are safer than girls and can protect themselves, whereas many girls wouldn't be able to protect themselves. In my (Christian) religion we don't encourage the young people to date until they are 16. Maybe that's when your folks will let your sister, then you, begin to go out more.

Be patient with them. They love you a lot. It's really nice that you seem to care about your religion as much as you do! That's a wonderful quality you have to "stand up" for it.

Perhaps if you show them you are mature in your dress and thoughts it might help them be more willing to give you more freedom (or maybe not). Good luck!

Can I ask you a question? Do you believe anything you hear? If no, then just shut it out. Wait until you are old enough, and then you can either get emancipated, or move out when you are eighteen. Shutting it out will get easier. Trust me. I am honestly and atheist, and my grandparents are strict christian and live right across the street from us. I'm 13. It gets easier and easier to just wait until your time, and laugh at what they tell you on the inside, and smile and nod on the out. If you do believe it, more power to you. Same thing. Just wait till you are old enough. Trust me, it wont last forever. You just have to wait until you can move out or get emancipated, and then you can wear what you want. As for the sexism: f**k them.

They seem to have brought their (sorry if this sounds offensive) radical culture hear. Do NOT cover your face with a head dress or whatever. You're basically saying, i don't have rights. As for your parents, it's hard to tell if they're protecting you, or just following up on their religion. DO what you want to DO! In America, do NOT let religion define you.

To be honest, I still have this problem, too. I'm seventeen and my dad gets mad at me even for going to a family friend's house without his knowledge, yet my brother gets drunk and he says, "Oh, it's only one time." He doesn't let me hang out with boys at all, even as just friends. I used to live in Palestine, and over there, it was as sexist as hell. It's not as bad as people in the USA think it is, but it still sucks like hell. Actually, your situation strangely seems to resemble mine. It took forever for my dad to let me have ANY freedoms at all, and I had to get help from other adults. Even now, my dad respects my brother more than he respects me. He gets mad at me for hanging out with the son of a woman whom he knows very well and has known for about 13 or 14 years. He even gets mad when he sees girls hanging out with boys. WHAT THE ****!?

What I have to say may not be something you want to hear, but please bear with me and try to read it. I used to be afraid and hesitant to let go of my religion, but eventually, I saw logic. I was actually happy when I let go of it. After feeling so inferior, I was eager to let go of it. I'm not going to agree that Islam is a good religion, but I will definitely say that it's better than its Abrahamic predecessors, Christianity and Judaism. It's your choice whether or not you want to let go of your religion, but my recommendation is that you do so. The reason my father has become more lenient over the years is because of my depression causing me to cut myself and my constantly involving other adults in the issues so that I'm not forced to be under his control. It'll be easier to do this if you're not bound by religion. If you want to talk more about this, you can email me, or something.

Muhammad invented his religion to lure boys into sacrificing their lives for him in his battles. Females did not fight; females were the rewards good killers received and have to stay pure and innocent so that the greatest killers will want them. Shush girl; don't ask silly questions you are to be owned soon by a worthy fighter for Allah; your sole reason for living is to submit!

Its called a double standard but don't worry b/c women can get away with things men can't...for example if a woman stays at home and doesn't work she is considered a homemaker but if a man does it he is lazy ;)

lool, i'm sorry, but don't get your hopes high on getting some serious answers. People here will not bother to read statments like yours. Next time, summarize the question and make it simple and quick to read.