if there was a contest and the person that could jump the highest would win a night out with Joy Behar?

She's a "Professional Blind Date".

She couldn't make third runner-up for contestant in a Ms "Wildebeest" contest.

Always those sorry lookers that have the attitude problem. The opportunities that await so many women are unreachable by her.

No matter what.

I think I would do the whole world a favor and go ahead and win it. Then once I picked her up I would drive the car off a cliff and jump out at the last minute and tell the police she went crazy when I mentioned muslims killing americans. Officer don't know what happened she just went nuts, I lost control of the car, I jump out because she was attacking me. I am so so sorry about all this.

To have a night out with Behar?

I would jump the highest.

....from a chair/bridge/Empire State Building/etc.

Joy Behar...I'd hit it.

...with a car.

Nope. For a night out with Gong Li, I'd put rockets on my shoes, though.

It depends. Would I get paid to do this? Would I be able to wear ear plugs? Do I have to look at her? Will she be wearing a burka? Can I take her to the Bold Fresh Tour?

Why would I want to enter a contest to hang out with that woman?

Why would I want a nite out with that fat socialist?

I would envy the limbo guys.

I WOULD START DIGGING.