Lonely mom who needs friends (looong?

im a dad and i feel the same way you do, i started going to thew gym and to be honest the internet is the way to go for freinds..

I know exactly the feeling! I'm 20 with a 13 month old son and have been with my boyfriend 4 years. Facebook is the worst lol! it sounds silly but seeing what seems like everyone else going out every weekend and meeting new people is really upsetting when you feel stuck in the same place. I'd say that I have 2 good friends left, one I see once or twice a month and the other has recently moved away to go to university. The rest seem to have drifted away since i had my son we're just going through different stages of our lives. I live in a rural area and my boyfriend needs the car during the day so its just me and my son all day, i love him to bits but it gets lonely!

I would suggest speak to your boyfriend let him know you feel lonely and try and spend some family days out together. And try and arrange some time where you can do something for yourself (without your daughter) like go to the gym or join some other kind of group where you will meet people. This might lift your spirits abit and give you a clearer head to think about what your next move is going to be!

Yes I can really relate to your story, mine is a little different from yours but the same situation. I'm 22 and I have been with my boyfriend for going on 10 years and was with him for 5 before I had my first child and I was able to go back to work, but 3yrs later I had my 2nd child which is now 8mo old and I ended up being a stay at home mom because daycare is too much. Well months before I had my second child he got laid off from his job but the good outcome to him losing his job was that he got our daughter potty trained but he did end up getting his job back, but now I sit at home and to with i had more friends to go and hang out with.

My boyfriend work 7 nights a week and 12+ hrs a day. I think the loneliness hurts a lot. I have about 3 friends that I talk but 2 of them are pregnant. I love my kids dearly but sometimes I need some me time. I don't do facebook because I have a myspace and that still doesn't do any good. I do plan on going back to work when me daughter stars school next year.

So I do know how you feel it tough to deal with.

Perhaps let your partner know of what you are experiencing. I also agree with one person suggesting to arrange a family time with your spouse. If you could also get a sitter every week or two, arrange a date day or night with your husband, even for a few hours. Coordinate it with your schedules. It is good if you can to get that quality time with him.

Yes, know what it feels like to loose touch with people you were once close to. I don't have a best female friend a the 2 that I have are not very close. Alot of times, when I make attempts to call and make plans with female friends, they forget the date & also forget to call..so i've gotten used to it:)

The only conclusion so far is to start to make new ones. It will take time and effort- with a child, a little more creativity. Activities clubs or classes are a good idea- as there are potential people to meet up with, who have common interests. Also, you just never know who you'll meet. But I do know it involves getting out there and trying to be open to making new friends. Sometimes, you wish you could just be with those you knew before, but sometimes you just move on.

I suggest to not compare yourself to others on facebook- it's not worth it. There lives are different from your own. Yours is unique. I am sure we will find friends out there. Just hang in there:)

Hello,

you have made the Ist step in taking control and making some changes in your life, so i congratulate on that .

What you are going through is quite normal, we all reflect on our lives and it might be that you have a touch of post natal depression?

If you can try and look at things in a positive light, smile and although forced at first ,you might get used to it. People will find you more approachable and smile back.It sounds simple but it can work!

Try and set some time aside with your partner to tell him how you feel and plan a fun date with him, and something fun with your daughter as a family!

Think frugally and why not have a pamper day with friends and take it in turns at different houses, you could combine with direct selling like avon or books?

Face book is not the real world and maybe some wish to have a kid? maybe imp[rove your income by doing some private tuition, learn to live frugally and then you can aim to live in a different home. Avoid the temptation to buy things to cheer yourself up? because that could cause worry re money!

it might be worth having a good chat with your partner, to make some joint plans or maybe consider a split as a last resort? Try and not be critical and look at his good points and show appreciation re his good!

It does not mean that you will have a similar life to yur mum, you are a different person but you can maybe learn from her choices or even mistakes she has made?

Good luck , i think you will be a lot happier in the future :)

Honestly, for starters it sounds like you need a counselor to help you work through your emotional trouble right now, there is a lot of negative strife in your life right now and a counselor can help you cope. Address your concerns with your old friends, tell them that you feel disconnected from them and try to initiate lunch dates or play dates for your children during which you can catch up.

Throw a dinner party, invite old friends and family; get a group together for a movie or bowling or pottery painting. There are many basic activities you can find that will give you help you rekindle old friendships and maybe even start new ones.

You could meet women to communicate with through groups such as pampered chef, stampin' up, Miche bags, quilting clubs, cooking classes, yoga classes, gyms, dance classes. Find a pre- arranged group activities in your area that interest you and get involved. Maybe you can find something that you can do with your children. Get online and find some things in your area that you feel compelled to try and go for it =)

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I struggle with these feelings alot!! I am 28 and a single mom of two. Most of my friends are married with children and they do not come around because I am not married anymore and I do not fit in with their married group of friends Or they other half of my friends are Single without children and I do not fit in with them because I do have children. I feel you that's why I spend a lot of time on my computer, passing time by my self. If you can find a good church that can be a good place to start.

Same exact situation here, I just started hanging out in chatrooms, I became a regular and got to know a few people and now im not AS lonely, but still pretty lonely..

I understand how you feel... However feeling bad about yourself is only making it worse. No one wants to hang out with someone who's negative all the time (believe me I know because I used to be the girl who thought she had no friends and just sat around feeling sorry for herself). Go out and do things that you like to do! With your daughter, and sometimes by yourself too! You have to make it so there's things that you look forward to doing every week. Go for walks at the park with your daughter, keep going to church, look online for classes around your area, sign up for one that you can bring your daughter with, and one that you think you'd enjoy by yourself (yoga, painting, dance) they have tons of classes! Join a gym. They are all great ways to make friends and feel good about what your doing in your life. Why shouldn't you take some time to yourself.. And you have to look at the things that you've accomplished in your life too. Getting a college degree takes a lot of effort even if you aren't doing anything in that field, and your raising a child which takes a lot of work, so give yourself more credit. If you want your life to change you need to take charge of it! It won't change if you don't try. Try to read books and watch shows that have a positive feeling to them. It makes a big difference when you surround yourself with great things in your life. Don't look at the bad things, look at the good!