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How do i break this to them?
So, i have been born and raised in a VERY strict christian family. My dad is the equivilant of a minster or preacher, though this church uses a different term. The problem is that i do not believe in this faith. i am currently 17 and realize that while i live in their house, they have the right to require me to attend the meetings.
The problem i am running into, is that i do not believe in their faith.... at all. I am unsure of what exactly i believe, but this isn't it. The people in the church are great, and their are some things that i do think is good, but as a whole, it is not something i want to be a part of. I have told them before, but they just try to shove it at me harder and/or tell me that i am mad at god for something or other.
Today my mom has told me that if i were to marry someone not of the faith, she wouldn't attend my wedding (im only 17, so not looking into getting married anytime soon, but that seemed a little drastic). Both of my brothers also left the faith, and on more than one occasion i have heard my father say that my brothers are dead to him.
Another problem i am running into, is that in this church, you are not supposed to be close friends with, or especially date, anyone who is not of the faith. I have started dating my best friend of 3 years, but who i have known for 6. I am afraid that when the time comes to tell them that i do not want to be part of the faith they will blame it all on him, which is not true. Sure, their attitude to him does add to the distaste for this church, but its not the reason why I am leaving.
So my question to you is,
How do you think the best way to go about doing this is? I feel that I would like to tell them right before i move out, but im not sure that is fair... but i also don't want to be around to hear how much i disappoint them.... any ideas?
10 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
generally speaking it's ok to keep it to yourself for as long as you can. you'll do better with the folks. But you have to remember that it's your choice how and when you tell them or not. Don't feel like you have to because of anyone else. You don't even have to tell them when you move out. Just have other things to do on church day.
- 1 decade ago
Dear, You Leave it up to the lord! Do Not Be Bothered By What They Do Or Say, You Go With You're Heart & Faith. If you Love Him, And Want To Be With Him For a life time, And He Feels the same way, The Lord Brought You Two Together For A REASON. Look Aside the troubles, He Might Be a NON believer And their is nothing wrong with that, you stand before our lord on judgment day, no one else can answer for you, you know our lord is a forgiving father and only brings happiness! Just Let the lord take care of it and everything will be okay!
may god bless you & ill keep you in my prayers
- klynLv 45 years ago
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- CurtisLv 51 decade ago
If your instinct is to tell them right before you move out, then I suppose you should do that. I don't think you should worry about being "fair" to them; there's nothing unfair to your parents about you being your own person and making your own decisions. And, honestly, I don't think that they're being "fair" to you at all.
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- 1 decade ago
It's your life your choice. They have their life and made their choice. Your brothers are "dead" your mother will not attend your "wedding". You are already a disappointment. It's their problem. Ignore the blackmail and live your life. you need not account for your life.
- Rubber SoulLv 61 decade ago
What is the point of free will if there is religion. Your brothers had the right idea, if your parents are willing to disown their own children because of what they choose not to believe in.. thats not cool.
- ?Lv 41 decade ago
Get a job, start saving money so you can move out of the cuckoos nest when you turn 18.
- your consciousLv 61 decade ago
Just be respectful of their church until you leave home....then break it to them. As long as you're under their roof.....just try to keep the peace.
- Kim rumLv 61 decade ago
your parents are bigots, to them religion is not about faith it's about control - get the hell out when you can or it will continue to control you for the rest of your life
- Chloé L.Lv 61 decade ago
Depends upon so many factors, but if I were you, I would fake it until I moved out. And I would move out asap.