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Control FREAK or Just Controlling?
My Mother is the biggest control freak. Over the years she has alienated all of my Step brothers and sisters to the point of they will not visit their Father for any reason, She has alienated my brothers and Myself to the point of we can't stand to be around her. but yet she expects us to be at her beck and call, if we tell her no its the same thing (insert sarcastic tone) well I'll just do it myself (knowing she can't) What do we do? and everything has to be done right now and most can wait a day or so.
Help! have even tried to put them in an assisted living center but she won't go. It has Been so bad it is affecting my health.
1 Answer
- ?Lv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
Control people have TWO issues:
1. Arrogance. (How would anything get along if she weren't around to control things?)
2. Fear. (Can't let go of things...the world would crumble if she did).
These two things control the person. It's good to know that those two qualities (both extreme) are what's causing it. She may never decide to get help (that may require an intervention) and eventually these kinds of people end up alienating a lot of people and a hard time keeping friends.
There isn't much you can do if she isn't interested in getting some outside help. These people often don't realize how miserable they can make others around them. It's hard to conform to someone else's unbending impossible standards. Maybe all of you can have a "meeting" with her. Each person takes their turn explaining how her behavior affects them. If it's done with love, also telling her the good parts, there may be some motivation for her to get some guidance in modifying her behavior.
Hope this helps.
Wish you well.