How do I recover? (Leaving Church)?

At least 100,000 people a year formally leave the LDS church. Many more just go inactive.

What you are experiencing is very common. That doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

You might visit the discussion boards at postmormon.org and exmormon.org. People share experiences in leaving and ways to cope.

It wasn't your fault. The recruitment techniques the church has developed are carefully designed to snare people without giving them much truth. As many as half leave within a year, many more than that in third world countries.

Don't beat yourself up. You need that energy to build a new life.

i know EXACTLY how you feel. mind you i was a protestant, not really want to label myself as an Pentecostal but that's the church i attended. so there are a little bit of differences but the end is the same. Leaving a religion that you were whole heartedly devoted to is going to be a process.

Your happiness is the most important thing and so it's good that you left. Now whether you find another religion is up to you.

anywho, when i found out the truth about my religion i felt the same. I felt manipulated and so embarrassed of how i acted towards others. I'm over that part but i definatley have residule anger towards that religion and sometimes even ppl for how they treat me now. You just have to go through it. For me I've never felt better, I'm the happiest I've ever been now that I know there isn't anyone trying to control my life especially since most ppl in my religion neway were huge hypocrites.

So depending on how much heart and soul you put into it, it may be a long and hard process to recover from it. I know for myself since certain values and beliefs were put on me as I was growing up I fight with what truly is right or wrong. For example pre-marital sex is a no-no as well as dating ppl who aren't in the same religion as me. And for that all i have to show is my virginity and never having any relationship with the opposite sex. I'm 23 and never kissed a guy. Now i'm struggling with whether or not I should give up my v-card now that I no longer believe i'm going to hell if i have sex before marriage.

So just take baby steps. don't go out and do everything that the church told you is a sin. Because you still do have that line you shouldn't cross. The only thing now is that your judgement will be more two sided. like for me i know what it's like to be on that other side of the fence(which i know is now a lie) You just have to go through those trial and errors and find who you really are and what really moves you into action instead of what others are telling you are right or wrong. Go with what's in your heart.

i hope this helps, this is kind of just the gist of it, if you have any questions or anything you can email me. I hope you find yourself. Leaving something like this isn't taken lightly and i know how much you've thought about this decision.

The time immediately after leaving is the hardest. It won't be this hard for long, I promise. You'll also have a lot of angry feelings. Those are natural, just try not to act on them, because they're temporary.

The best people to help you though this are fellow ex-mormons. They have a few websites around. You'll find they totally understand where you are coming from and can offer some pretty good advice in how to leave "the church."

Yea, and those who have literature that is critical of the church don't have an agenda either. You have the right to leave. But I find you a bit naive to take things from people who have an agenda against the LDS church at face value.

I've studied a lot of quotes that came from JOD and other sources and found that critics of the church have a bad habit of quote mining materials. I'd read a lot of quotes in their Original context and looked at the background and history of what was happening at that moment in time and I felt cheated, these people seriously took people's words and intentions right out of context. I have a degree in English, I know what quote mining looks like and it's intellectually dishonest.

As for a lot of the other things, have you seriously studied the other side of the coin. Willing to bet you haven't. Course in the end, no amount of "research" is going to satisfy you. That's not how faith works.

Go in Peace....

IMHO, you might want to 'recheck your "truth"'.....I have researched and examined many of the things you mention and have found them to be misrepresented in most cases and the church to still be what it claims to be.....the gospel is still true.

I would be happy to expand on the whole JS polygamy/newspaper thing if you would like (email me), but for here I will just say that sealings were a lot more about sealing together on big family unit than they were about polygamy.....and the newspaper was destroyed on the order of the nauvoo city council based on the possibilities of it's inciting people to mob and riot (which had happened in other communities - so there was reason to be worried about that).

ceremonies are just that - ceremony.....used symbolically to teach and cement ideas into thought processes - to help make the thing of symbol more clearly understood.....

the real thing is the ordinance. that has NOT changed. only the teaching methods have.

racism was and still is rampant in the world. the LDS church is comprised of people.

the BoA has most certainly not been proven to be a farce. I can show you differently on every point I guarantee it.

lucy smith's journals ---- THAT is a personal problem. they are not doctrine - so who cares what was or was not her personal opinions and thoughts on things. it has no religious bearing whatsoever.

what you are talking of is not necessarily "well documented" as it is well presented. and the church rests on God the Father and Jesus the Christ. JS was only a man chosen by God to deliver His words. so basically you are only 'shooting @the messenger' there.

email me - bring your "iceberg" and I can show you that it is simply an illusion. or you can determine it on your own with the help of God through prayer if you are open enough to hear Him over the sound of your own decisions. it is not always easy to do.

of course if you want to leave that too is your choice. I just think one should have all the information available before making a decision.

best of luck to you whatever you decide.

edit: you cannot claim the church is not honest and in the same breath claim that you were only researching church history from church sources......

if you were to look @the ancient prophets as closely as JS you would find that they

~made prophecies that did not come true due to the conditional nature of such (like dacid, moses, or elisha)

~gave different time frames than what actually happened (like isaiah, zephaniah, or john)

~contradict each other (like ezekial and jeremiah)

~reflect their own ideas and language assumptions (like obadiah)

~were persecuted and imprisoned and mistreated, mocked, and ignored

as for the journal thing - what is your assumption - that BY was trying to hide something? that he was adding to them? taking away from? as a mother and a s a child - I guarantee to you that there are several people who know and knew different things about me that my mother never noticed or knew --- why? precisely because she was my mother.....and my very best friend. there are things that I do not know or understand about my children that their friends or teachers totally "get". and the fact is - whatever was written in there was a personal opinion of one person only. and may have easily been tainted by the mood of the day or a comment made or anything else. journals are by nature that place where one can say the things they might not even believe in reality. and they are still not doctrine.

See what happens when you read antimormon stuff? The church is indeed true. If you want to talk send me an email. I know the church is true. About the book of Abraham, trust me, it's accurate. I've read it and looked at the allegations against it. I was born into the church and I'm 19. I know because of the Bible, history, and yes even DNA, that the Book of Mormon is true and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the only true church on the earth. What does how the church was when it started have to do with how it is now? Did you forget Abraham, Moses, David, & other prophets also had more than one wife and it was justified by God Himself?

marvel.master@yahoo.com

The church is perfect in every way. It is Christ's church.

Well, you're not the only one. After almost 30 years of addiction to narcissistic women who almost ruined my life, one after the other, I finally woke up and asked myself, "How could I have been so blind?" I don't know. What's to be said? It happens. The important thing is what happens next.

Look at it this way: Now you have a chance to grow up and discover who you really are unencumbered by Mormon shackles and blinders. This is a wonderful thing that's happened to you. My prescription would be to remain open to what life has to offer. Meet different kinds of people. Have different kinds of experiences. Read different kinds of books. Think different kinds of thoughts. Have different kinds of feelings. All very scary, to be sure, but still quite wonderful. You don't know where you're going, but does it really matter? The wonderful part of life is the journey rather than the destination.

I recommend a book to you. It's old now, but yet still current: "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck.

I am an apostolic Christian: you yourself were reading the truth(the Bible) not the book of Mormons.

Jesus Christ is the Only truth,never look up to men.We always fall short of the Glory of God. Find true followers of God."Church" in Greek is defined as:the called out ones. The Church Building is not what makes up the church, We are the ones. God Bless and I'll be praying for you.

What matters most is the purity of your faith in God. It is what led you innocently to LDS in the first place, and it (the purity of your faith) is what has enabled you to see the impure, even within a religious institution.

The best way to recover is to deal directly with God right now. You don't need any church or religious institution to do that. Pray directly to Him.

I say these things with kindness (:

You believed, but did you KNOW? With all your heart that it was true? Sometimes we go through motions. Like when I was in Pre-algebra....i just did the work and did not get anything out of it. I wish I had learned the concepts and applied them to my everyday life.

I know that the gospel is true, and that is because the Holy Ghost bore testimony to me. It was those feelings of peace and joy that come from the Holy Ghost that I knew. My only advice to you is, go back to the basics, read the Book of Mormon, say your prayers, if you felt the Spirit before that testimony will be strong enough to surpass those so called "truths" you discovered. Which if it is making you uncomfortable, that information came from the wrong sources. The gospel is pure and beautiful.

Talk to your friend the Relief Society President. Also, don't forget you are a daughter of God. Take care (: