Open adoption among YA Adoption contributors?

I am now, but I was 37 ... *thinks* ... 36, I think, *counts* yup, 37 before my adoption became "open", and that's only because I found my bfams myself on FB.

I know there's a few on here in what I believe are genuinely open adoptions (distance, et al. considered), but I don't think it's too prevalent, sadly.

Two of my boys were adopted internationally...we have limited contact with the oldest's first mom...she knows full well how to contact us...he has a picture of her...we send her pictures of him, updates...I tend not to get a letter back. The other guy was completely abandoned at birth...no clue who his natural parents are, no way to find them or contact them. Our third child was adopted domestically...his mother made the effort to find him an adoptive family because she knew they'd take him and put him into foster care at birth...other than that, she's shown no interest in wanting anything to do with him. She's contacted me a few times...never to ask about him or anything...always looking for money or something else. At this point, I wouldn't be comfortable bringing him to see her...all she needs to do is get clean and sober, and I'd be thrilled to establish physical contact between them (he's still an infant, I'm hoping she'll come around as he gets older, but it doesn't seem likely at this point).

In a perfect world, all three boys would have complete contact with their first parents. If there is anything that I can do to establish a relationship between my child and his first parents, I will...but I won't subject my son to being around a boozed up crack head who doesn't care.

I am an AP that adopted my childrens cousin. While his other Dad was alive an open adoption was not safe for him. Currently he has a lot of contact with his family on his fathers side of the family. He spends tine with them during the summer and school breaks. He also has a brother that is in his 20's that he visits quite bit.

His bio Aunt & Uncle are also named as his guardians if anything should happen to my husband and I.

Unfortunately he does not have contact with his other Mom, but that is her choice, not ours.

Our son is now 16 and we adopted him when he was 8.

I adopted a toddler overseas and we did find his mother & had contact through a translator with email & photos for about eight years. We were planning a trip to bring him to meet her when she cut off contact. She had remarried and she told us that her new husband didn't like that she had children with another man. It has been a few more years and my son has accepted that he might not hear from her again but we're going to go there this summer anyway. So I guess we were semi-open but now closed. At least my son had some time to ask her questions and get some pictures, and she does know where he is and how to contact us.

I would consider my daughter's adoption to be very open since the day she was born. We live several states away but travel to visit each other quite often. Her natural mother lives in my home state so it's easy to plan time together when we go back to visit. She has been to our home as well. Now that my daughter is older ( a young teen) I'm pretty much out of the loop in facilitating their conversations. They talk on the phone and are Facebook friends.

Open adoption doesn't work for everyone. It's based on trust and respect just like you would expect from any loved one or family member.

I am an adoptive mom of one girl in open adoption. Her parents live in India but we do Email, phone calls, gifts, and we will visit someday. I wish they were closer.

Guardian to one 12 year old with a birthmom from hell. Very mean. We tried an open relationship but she stepped on it any way she could and then disappeared. Visits with dad only 2X/per year after I fought in court for my son to be able to see him. Supervised at CPS. Found his siblings 5 year ago and visit 3 times a year with all 5 of them! Still missing one. :(

One birth son.

Looking to adopt 2 very special needs children 0-10, any race, any gender, from the state system. Open to any birth family that is safe to communicate with. Waiting and waiting and waiting. :)

i am an adoptee and was adopted by my foster parents when i was little.

i couldn't see most of my family but there was one aunt that i could see. my parents did the best they could, but eventually she disappeared and i think it had something to do with something going down between her and bmom, and bmom not wanting her to visit me anymore. not totally sure because my bmom lies a lot but thats what i have been able to piece together from everyone.

so not really that open, and eventually my aunt closed it. i didnt like her that much but was really hurt that she left b/c it was really the last person in my bfamily who i would have contact with in my childhood, and it was like she was telling me they all hated me by doing that. it bothered me a lot when i was younger, less as i got older, though.

I`m in a "semi-open" adoption, rofl. Thirteen years and I`ve never received a photo or update but was promised I would through the Alberta Post Adoption Registry.

Gotta admit... I wish someone like you had Jay.

My son's adoption was closed simply because I was refusing to agree to him being adopted so I wasn't told about open adoption. The adoption agency didn't want me anywhere near his adoptive parents as they knew I would tell them I didn't want him to be adopted. The lies told extended to me 'sending' them 3 letters but I didn't write any so to this day I don't know who wrote those letters and them sending me 3 letters but I only received one. His adoption would still be closed if I hadn't found him despite him finding my family when he was 18. Sadly I have a dysfunctional family who live in a fantasy world where it is acceptable to continue the lies of why my son was adopted. I have the satisfaction of knowing that I was able to tell him the truth but sadly the truth destroyed my son and he doesn't know who to believe.

Not I (I know you didn't ask for who WASN'T, but I thought I'd be a general PITA anyway...:-P).

Wish I could be. It sucks. I hate that my kids can't know their own family.