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Serious relationship with an actor: Personal experiences welcomed?
The story is rather long, but I need to let you guys know everything in order for it to make sense. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND ATTENTION!!!
I have known this guy for some time now and ever since I met him I knew in my heart we were meant for each other. I think the only reason we did not start dating right away was because I was afraid of letting anyone in.
Before him I only dated three guys. My first boyfriend was the only one who did not cheat on me. I was his first girlfriend and he was my first boyfriend. What we had was more of an innocent relationship. We didn't even had sex, we were just happy to have someone in our lives.
My second boyfriend cheated on me with the girl I thought was my best friend. He said he liked her first, but she was not available at the time. He said that he did not see what he did as cheating since he had no feelings for me. I was just a toy for him.
My third boyfriend became a model shortly after we began our relationship (I had been modeling for some time before I met him). He was very jealousy and controlling guy. He was always afraid that I would either cheat on him with one of the models I worked with or that I would leave him for one of them.
One day he came up to me and told me that he had been having affairs with some of the girls he worked with. He even told me that I shouldn't ask him how many girls there were, because not even he would be able to remember that.
After those two guys I was so hurt I chose to forget about men for a while, and so I did. Until I met this new guy I met.
At first I kept myself distant from him. Yet the more time passed the more I saw in him everything I wished a man could be. All the things I had already lost faith in. I believed "that kind of guy" was only a fantasy. He is the most amazing man I have ever met in my entire life.
One day he decided to let me know he had all these feelings for me. I was in heaven. It was the happiest day of my life. Yet my fear of getting hurt was so big that I asked him to wait a little . And he did. He stayed by my side no matter what.
In the mean time he began to work with acting, which is something he had been wanting to do for a long time. I was very happy for him.
We always talked about his work and how things were going. One day I asked him about love scenes. He told me that they are very meticulous and fastidious and unromantic to be done. And that no matter how passionate they might look, there is no way you feel any real passion while doing them, especially the way we feel in real life with someone we love.
He told me they do not use tongue when they kiss. But that sometimes it happens that while kissing their tongues do accidentally brush a little against one another. Which he said it is completely different from an actual full-on french kiss. Just because in a real french kiss we use tongue in a more intense manner, which obviously does not happen accidentally.
He even told me that before they do a kissing scene it is very common for the actors to talk to one another about how to do the kissing without using tongue.
I appreciated that he seemed to be telling me in a very subtle way that I was the one he wants to save his passionate real french kissing for.
He and I stayed a long time without seeing each other. He went to New York and I went to Brazil to visit my family. Now that we are together again, my heart almost explodes when I see him. He is the love of my life. And I can see that he loves me a lot too.
The problem is: now that he is an actor (which makes me happy to see him happy) I have no idea how to deal with seeing him doing scenes with other girls. I know everything he told me about how love scenes are done is true. And I really trust him. But what happened to me in the past makes me so afraid of certain things.
The thought of him kissing other girls, the thought other girls tasting his kiss gets to me and makes me uncomfortable.
You see, part of my issue is that having had such a controlling boyfriend in past makes me certain of that fact that I don´t EVER want to be that kind of girlfriend. That kind of girl who wants to be the one telling you what you can or can´t do. But having had cheating boyfriends made me afraid of not being able to handle seeing him with doing love scenes.
TRUST ME, I know how completely different those two scenarios are. PLEASE don´t judge. This is making me feel very guilty as it is.
I know my past should not get in the way of our present. After all it wasn't his fault what happened to me. So I know I can´t behave as if I am punishing him for something other men did.
I love him so much and I want be with him. I also want him to keep being an actor because acting makes him happy. If you guys/girls were in my shoes what would you do?
Have you ever dated an actor/actress before?
Any help and SERIOUS answers are very welcomed.
3 Answers
- Georgianna HLv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
Hey, I appreciate your dilema. I'm I guess on the other side.
I'm an actress (I guess I could say, I'm still at school I just do alot of performing...) and all the time there are scenes with the guys which are kind of akward. Trust me, its just as bad for the other girl having to kiss this guy with the girlfriend infront of an audience or load of camera men. To make it 'real' enough to be believed without going tooo far and startling the other guy...
It's the same for girlfriends of Popstars, knowing every night out there are a thousand girls shouting their name. Pretty girls who would do anything to get with them. You trust your guy so its fine, you know he's not going to go for these other actor girls.
I recently read an article where Johnny Depp had to pretend to have sex with this girl, he said both of them were uncomfortable but they just got into the character and got on with it (they didn't actually do 'it' of course). He said also his wife doesn't like to watch the love scenes he does.
Just relax, I think your past relationship has made you scared. Your boyfriend has a serious passion for drama-he won't use that for an excuse and in truth love scenes and intimate scenes are quite rare.
- 1 decade ago
Hi mamita,
I have been a professional actor (actress, but I say actor) for about six years now. In all that time, I've had to do a maximum of 3 "love" scenes, one of them passionate (and yes, I did use tongue - I felt it was important for the show.)
I have been dating another professional actor for about 3 years. About 2 years ago, he was cast in a show where he had to play a homosexual, and have several love scenes. I watched him make out with 2 or 3 different actors, some gay and some straight.
It sucked watching it. The first time. But I understood the importance of representing truth on stage, and I respect his work. Because that's what it is - work. In my opinion, the feelings that are present (love, anger, lust) are absolutely normal, but the true artist works through those feelings (I mean, we're only human, of course we're going to be turned on by our partners.)
I think you are both taking a very healthy approach to this. The agreement that my boyfriend and I set is that we would tell the other if/when we needed to kiss, make love, etc. to another character on stage. I find that this helps soften the blow (because even though I understand it intellectually, my gut hates it when I see it.)
Now I'm going to be blunt: there is always a chance that, whether there is a love scene or not, an actor/actress can "fall in love" with another character. Listen up: the real person will fall in love with the CHARACTER; very seldom does the actor fall in love with the person themselves (an actor falls in love just like everyone else, dating, etc., right?) It has happened to me, but I realized that I love the fantasy, and I moved on. My boyfriend knows and understands, even though he is not an susceptible as I am.
I hope that helped. Your boyfriend is right about the love scenes, and remember that acting itself is a very technically precise art - when you are doing it perfectly, then you are multitasking like a madman and you don't really have time to think of the "passion," lol.
- 5 years ago
Sorry but this is actually a ridiculous question. Vegetarian or meat-eater, it'll make no difference in bed. Edit: A clearly neutral comment, destroyed by militant veg's. You sad people are clearly delusional and need to get your heads out of your arses, and stop believing that you are better than people in every possible way because you eat differently and don't want to accept that it's normal to consume the flesh of other animals. Theres a word for that and it's called discrimination (which also has no factual basis, or justification). See you next tuesday. Frosty: "Vegans have a balanced and nutrient-filled diet, and are generally a lot fitter and healthier than their meat-eating friends, and can last longer." - Don't lie to the woman.
