Heloise Reeve

The other day my bf and I were in the kitchen together and I asked him to grab something in the top shelf for me, when he did I kissed the bottom side of his chin.

He asked me (jokingly) why I kissed "his" chin. I said it was because I felt like it and I said "by the way that chin is mine".

He laughed and asked me how could that chin be mine if it was on his face. And I said "just because it is on your face it can't be mine, funny I have a heart on my chest which hasn't been mine for some time now", he laughed again and hugged, but he did not anything.

My question is: I know guys like hearing compliments about their looks, but do they also like hearing a girl (the one they like) say something sweet and romantic.

I have this friend (a guy) and we have been friends ever since we were kids, so are very open to one another.

The other day he told me something that got me intrigued. He did this play in his college theater and kissed (made out, without using tongue) with a rather pretty girl.

Yet when I asked him how it was he said it was sort of bland, and that he did not get an erection the way he does he kisses his girlfriend.

I thought ALL men got aroused when they kissed ANY girl they found pretty. He explain to me that it does not work like that (not for every men at least).

He said that in his case, already having a gf he is really into made the experience a lot less exciting that it could have been. He said some guys need more than just looks from a girl, and that some guys need to feel a connection with the girl.

I am confused because that's not what women learn about men. We learn men are visual and that the mere sight of a woman may arouse them. We never hear anyone say some men need to actually like the girl for it to happen.

Can anyone clarify this a bit more for me please. I appreciate serious answers.

PS.: If it matter, he is 34 yrs.

I have this friend (a guy) and we have been friends ever since we were kids, so are very open to one another.

The other day he told me something that got me intrigued. He did this play in his college theater and kissed (made out, without using tongue) with a rather pretty girl.

Yet when I asked him how it was he said it was sort of bland, and that he did not get an erection the way he does he kisses his girlfriend.

I thought ALL men got aroused when they kissed ANY girl they found pretty. He explain to me that it does not work like that (not for every men at least).

He said that in his case, already having a gf he is really into made the experience a lot less exciting that it could have been. He said some guys need more than just looks from a girl, and that some guys need to feel a connection with the girl.

I am confused because that's not what women learn about men. We learn men are visual and that the mere sight of a woman may arouse them. We never hear anyone say some men need to actually like the girl for it to happen.

Can anyone clarify this a bit more for me please. I appreciate serious answers.

PS.: If it matter, he is 34 yrs.

The question has nothing to do with how good-looking they are so base your answer on their acting.

...ou os melhores encontros são quase sempre bem simples a até não planejados. Qual é o melhor encontro que você já teve com alguém

There are some people (both men and women) who say they will only be faithful once they are married. That cheating while you're only dating does not count because it (dating) is not a serious commitment like being married.

Would you keep your marriage if you discovered that while only dating your spouse cheated on you?

Would you accept the excuse that she / he only cheated on you because it was not a serious commitment like marriage?

Well, I would divorce right away if I discovered my husband cheated on me when we were only dating. Even if I had absolute certainty that he stopped when we got married.

Come on guys, do these people think we only get hurt when we are married or is it because they think that because you were ONLY a boyfriend/girlfriend you did not deserve their respect.

To me this is just another immature excuse from people who know what they did was wrong but try to rationalise the behaviour. What do you think?

...when she is having sex with you? Would you feel like she was just using you just as she could have used her hand or a v i b r a t o r, instead of the two of you sharing o moment together? Would rather she fantasized about other men when was having her alone time pleasuring herself and focused completely on you while having s e x? After all you are the one who is putting in all the effort when you have s e x and it's not fair she erases you in her mind and replaces you by someone else.

...does not count or that it is not that disrespectful? Those people (both men and women) who say they will only be faithful once they are married.

Would you keep your marriage if you discovered that while only dating your spouse cheated on you?

Would you accept the excuse that she / he only cheated on you because it was not a serious commitment like marriage?

Well, I would divorce right away if I discovered my husband cheated on me when we were only dating. Even if I had absolute certainty that he stopped when we got married.

Come on guys, do these people think we only get hurt when we are married or is it because they think that because you were ONLY a boyfriend/girlfriend you did not deserve their respect.

To me this is just another immature excuse from people who know what they did was wrong but try to rationalize the behavior. What do you think?

...não conta ou não é tão desrespeitoso? Aquelas pessoas (tanto homens quanto mulheres) que dizem que só se tem que ser fiel quando casa.

Você continuaria seu casamento caso descobrisse que enquanto só namoravam sua/seu esposa(o) te traia?

Você aceitaria a desculpa de que ela/ele só te traiam por que não era um compromisso sério como casamento?

Bem, eu pediria o divórcio na mesma hora se descobrisse que meu marido me traia quando éramos apenas namorados. Mesmo se eu tivesse certeza absoluta de que ele parou quando nos casamos.

Ué gente, será que essas pessoas pensam que só nos machucamos quando somos casados ou é porque eles acham que porque você era SÓ um/uma namorado(a) não merecia o respeito deles.

Pra mim isso é só mais uma desculpa imatura de quem sabe que fez coisa errada mas tenta racionalizar o comportamento. E vc o que acha?

...would you think it's a strange thing for a girl to do.

...would you think it's strange for a girl to do that.

...ou vocês acham que muitas vezes são as próprias mulheres que não sabem escolher e esnobam os homens mais íntegros e fies e ficam com que cafajestes, e depois reclamam quando eles traem.

...butts? If my boyfriend does that should I be worried that it means something bad for our relationship? Or is it harmless, like it´s just looking, it has more to do if looking than the girl herself?

Às vezes me pego perdendo as esperanças em encontrar um amor verdadeiro. Parece que no mundo de hoje não há espaço para se amar alguém. Parece que o mundo hoje é feito apenas para diversão sem nenhum compromisso. Hoje as pessoas olham umas para as outras e não nada além um corpo para ser usado e depois descartado. Será que ainda vale a pena abrir o coração de novo?Um amor verdadeiro pode ser encontrado se for procurado ou um amor assim vêm quando se menos espera? alguém teria histórias pessoais para contar? Obrigada!

......when he has to do love/kissing scenes with other girls. My boyfriend is a theater actor and sometimes he has to do love scenes with other girls, he tells me that it not possible to become sexual aroused while you are acting because your focus is on what you have to as an actor and not on sex. But sometimes I wonder if he tells me that just to make me less worried.

What do you guys think? If he does get aroused while on a kissing scene do I need to be worried or fearful? I am if he get aroused does it mean he likes the girl or that he is attracted to her sexually or is it just something that´s more natural for guys? The fact they are simulating having s e x makes him aroused and not the girl?

Please I really need some advice, I want to be supportive but the same time I just don´t know how to feel.

...when he has to do love/kissing scenes with other girls. My boyfriend is a theater actor and sometimes he has to do love scenes with other girls, he tells me that it not possible to become sexual aroused while you are acting because your focus is on what you have to as an actor and not on sex. But sometimes I wonder if he tells me that just to make me less worried.

What do you guys think? If he does get aroused while on a kissing scene do I need to be worried or fearful? I am if he get aroused does it mean he likes the girl or that he is attracted to her sexually or is it just something that´s more natural for guys? The fact they are simulating having s e x makes him aroused and not the girl?

Please I really need some advice, I want to be supportive but the same time I just don´t know how to feel.

I am talking about older men like in their 30s not teenagers. Do they always get that aroused during a make out? What about actors for example, if they are married and have sex on regular basis, do they get erections when they do kissing scenes? Or is it too different from a real life situation with their own partners?

The story is rather long, but I need to let you guys know everything in order for it to make sense. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND ATTENTION!!!

I have known this guy for some time now and ever since I met him I knew in my heart we were meant for each other. I think the only reason we did not start dating right away was because I was afraid of letting anyone in.

Before him I only dated three guys. My first boyfriend was the only one who did not cheat on me. I was his first girlfriend and he was my first boyfriend. What we had was more of an innocent relationship. We didn't even had sex, we were just happy to have someone in our lives.

My second boyfriend cheated on me with the girl I thought was my best friend. He said he liked her first, but she was not available at the time. He said that he did not see what he did as cheating since he had no feelings for me. I was just a toy for him.

My third boyfriend became a model shortly after we began our relationship (I had been modeling for some time before I met him). He was very jealousy and controlling guy. He was always afraid that I would either cheat on him with one of the models I worked with or that I would leave him for one of them.

One day he came up to me and told me that he had been having affairs with some of the girls he worked with. He even told me that I shouldn't ask him how many girls there were, because not even he would be able to remember that.

After those two guys I was so hurt I chose to forget about men for a while, and so I did. Until I met this new guy I met.

At first I kept myself distant from him. Yet the more time passed the more I saw in him everything I wished a man could be. All the things I had already lost faith in. I believed "that kind of guy" was only a fantasy. He is the most amazing man I have ever met in my entire life.

One day he decided to let me know he had all these feelings for me. I was in heaven. It was the happiest day of my life. Yet my fear of getting hurt was so big that I asked him to wait a little . And he did. He stayed by my side no matter what.

In the mean time he began to work with acting, which is something he had been wanting to do for a long time. I was very happy for him.

We always talked about his work and how things were going. One day I asked him about love scenes. He told me that they are very meticulous and fastidious and unromantic to be done. And that no matter how passionate they might look, there is no way you feel any real passion while doing them, especially the way we feel in real life with someone we love.

He told me they do not use tongue when they kiss. But that sometimes it happens that while kissing their tongues do accidentally brush a little against one another. Which he said it is completely different from an actual full-on french kiss. Just because in a real french kiss we use tongue in a more intense manner, which obviously does not happen accidentally.

He even told me that before they do a kissing scene it is very common for the actors to talk to one another about how to do the kissing without using tongue.

I appreciated that he seemed to be telling me in a very subtle way that I was the one he wants to save his passionate real french kissing for.

He and I stayed a long time without seeing each other. He went to New York and I went to Brazil to visit my family. Now that we are together again, my heart almost explodes when I see him. He is the love of my life. And I can see that he loves me a lot too.

The problem is: now that he is an actor (which makes me happy to see him happy) I have no idea how to deal with seeing him doing scenes with other girls. I know everything he told me about how love scenes are done is true. And I really trust him. But what happened to me in the past makes me so afraid of certain things.

The thought of him kissing other girls, the thought other girls tasting his kiss gets to me and makes me uncomfortable.

You see, part of my issue is that having had such a controlling boyfriend in past makes me certain of that fact that I don´t EVER want to be that kind of girlfriend. That kind of girl who wants to be the one telling you what you can or can´t do. But having had cheating boyfriends made me afraid of not being able to handle seeing him with doing love scenes.

TRUST ME, I know how completely different those two scenarios are. PLEASE don´t judge. This is making me feel very guilty as it is.

I know my past should not get in the way of our present. After all it wasn't his fault what happened to me. So I know I can´t behave as if I am punishing him for something other men did.

I love him so much and I want be with him. I also want him to keep being an actor because acting makes him happy. If you guys/girls were in my shoes what would you do?

Have you ever dated an actor/actress before?

Any help and SERIOUS answers are very welcomed.