Is This Right Or Is It Just Wrong?

completely agree with Chris also. here is a suggestion, since the baby will be a newborn anyway and susceptible with it being winter and everyone being sick or being exposed to others that are sick, plan to have a formal welcoming party for the baby a few days after your husband returns home, for the time being only have your mother and his mother (if they aren't sick) be welcome in your home. My hubby is deployed right now and if I was prego this is exactly what I would do if he requested what your hubby has. He is going to miss the birth of his child which is going to be a very big deal for him, so give him this small satisfaction and wish. Everyone else has been waiting since you first found out you were prego, they can wait a few more weeks to see him/her. Besides it will give you the opportunity to adjust, relax, and get used to having a baby in the home before you get bombarded with house guests.

You, know I totally understand both points. But as a guy also deployed to Afghanistan right now, I would feel the same way he does. My wife is pregnant too, but should she go into labor before I get home, I would want to be the first man to hold our baby.

I can honestly see where he's coming from. There is nothing wrong with only letting women (other than the doctor and your father or his father of course) hold the baby.

I think what he is implying is that he doesn't want other guys, like your guy friends or his friends holding the baby. It probably really hurts him being so far away and not being able to be there when your baby is being born. I know it would kill me if i couldn't be there if my wife went into labor early.

If he was home, he would get to be the first to hold him. Just because he's deployed doesn't mean that joy should be taken away from him.

I can see what your saying too, but in all honesty, as I am also a soldier deployed with a prego wife, I can totally see where he's coming from because I would want exactly the same thing. It's a good thing that he is soo enthused about being the first man to hold the baby.

For whatever reason, this is a really really big deal for him. I suspect it just kills him to be away when that baby is born. It is a big request but imagine how it would make him feel when he is stuck 1/2 way around the world, eating gravel, to know how many of his friends and family honor him by obeying this request. It may be goofy, but that is part of marriage. You love your spouse, and respect their feelings (however goofy they may be) and try your best to make them feel like the most important being in your life.

You could always let your dad sneak a hold and not tell anyone. But don't let anyone else (his father included) until he gets there. Small price to pay for a hubby that actually cares so much which is the first thought that popped into my head when you wrote this.

I actually think that because he is in Iraq you should try to let him be the first man to hold the baby because, God forbid, if for some reason he does not come back, it is better that you tried to make his wish happen rather than live with the fact that he asked for that and you denied that to him. I think that may be a burden that you would carry for a long time to come.

I totally agree with Chris, I really do. Is he asking so much that you can not respect his wishes? Give your HERO (our Hero ) his due. if your family or his does not understand then they have no respect for either of you.

Allow your husband this small reward for all his efforts, over there and here. The father should be the first male to hold his child.

If he wants to be the first one to hold him, then he should be there for the baby´s birth. He is actually taking FROM the baby with this request. Your baby won´t be able to feel your dad or your father-in-law love because of this request...

I say it is 100% wrong, and if he truly plans not to speak to you if you don´t follow this request, then imagine what this marriage will be like..!

That's kind of crazy. The doctor has to hold the baby first. What....are you just going to ask that only female doctors and nurses handle the baby until your husband can hold the baby?

It seems very selfish to me. He is thinking of himself only. Why would a father want to keep his child from feeling loved by his family? It is time to grow up and put his children first.

Of course your husband is wrong. But you need to admit to yourself that it must be frustrating for him not to be with you for your baby's birth. Yes, I am certain that he does not imply that your father should not carry your baby. No, that's not it. So, agree with him and interpret his remark as referring to some strange man who might be your lover.

Neither one of you are ready to be parents. Give the baby up for adoption so it has a chance to grow up and be normal.