Could you proofread my college essay?

I'd imagine that the average applicant writes about a role-model. This hero predictably imparts some words of wisdom, thereby creating in the applicant perfection and virtue. This is not to say that this applicant is wrong; the role-model undoubtedly had a massive impact on this person, and changed their lives forever. Rather, the person who influences me in this story is not a hero, and I am not perfect.

Dominic was a special-needs student from a poor family, who I became friends with in elementary school. I saw less of him in middle school, but we remained friends. In the weeks before my freshman year, Dominic called me, and asked if he could stay over for the week. Although this was a long time, both my mom and I agreed; after all, we knew and trusted Dominic. The last night before Dominic was supposed to leave, my sister came up to my room crying, with my mother. My mother then told me, through her shock, that my eight year old sister had woken up with Dominic's hand in her pants. Needless to say, I was at a loss for words. My so-called friend had betrayed me, and my family, in such a horrible way that it was unspeakable. That night changed the way that I live my life.

After this event, I became increasingly paranoid. Whereas before, I had been open to friendship from anybody, it became extremely difficult to win my trust. My mother told me afterwards, "The apple never falls far from the tree." I followed this saying to the letter for my entire freshman year, judging everybody. If somebody came from a lower class family, I tended to avoid associating with them. In fact, I even started avoiding the special-needs students at my school, assuming that they were bad people, like Dominic was to me, and that their parents must be on drugs. One could say, looking back on myself then, that I was something of a bigot. Luckily, I have moved beyond these habits, but one among them still remains: to this day, it is very hard to earn my trust. I choose my friends carefully, but I am intensely loyal to those friends I do have. Because of Dominic's special needs, he was not imprisoned. I see him in the halls at my school often. Sometimes the temptation to make a reason to fight him is unavoidable, but to this day we have had no further incidents. This has created in me a strong sense of control. Any other problem I have simply seems silly by comparison. Similarly, I now tend to think in terms of logic rather than emotion, especially in relationships and work. I suppose that this is a good thing, considering my aspirations for a career in finance, one field in particular where logic trumps fear, greed, and other emotions. Knowing who influenced me has given me a strong sense of self, and conviction. I believe that with these traits, I will be able to thrive at any university.