how can i turns in 2 vampire plz help?

Have a Vampire bite you.

@jessicawear2003

Why do you want no more Vampires?? Our leaders are corrupt and don't want many to turn into one coz they know that we don't get older and live for so long. We want more like us, IMHO.

Take grammar lessons first. Then, give away all your possessions to the poor. Vampires don't need things. Say goodbye to all your family and friends forever, as you would be a danger to them.

Don't bother dressing warmly, you won't need it. Hike to the deepest, darkest part of the forest on a full moon. Sit under the biggest oak tree, and wait for the full moon to rise. Start circling around the tree, while singing the magical chant that will attract a true vampire to you. It goes like this: "I'm a douche! I'm a twit I'm a deluded child!"

Repeat for 6 hours, or until the sun rises, or until you realize how ridiculous you are. Go home, apologize to your family and friends, and try to live down your silliness.

You'll need the following ingredients for a potion:

-Container of Nova 6

-Sea salt

-Plasma

-Five four-leaf clovers

-Garlic

-Eggnog

-Spice cake mix

Once gathered, obtain a stock pot and put in one drop of blood. Then put the ingredients in, mix, and cook to 468 degrees F. You MUST do this precisely. Then stir it for 10 minutes non-stop and take one sip. It will taste strong but when you awaken the next day, you shall be a vampire.

Your body knows when it is ready for the vampire metamorphoses. I suggest paper-cutting yourself several times and live off of that nutrients for 1-2 weeks.

If your body is still functioning, it's time for Step Two.

Lock yourself in a dark, empty closet, ignoring all request to "come out of the closet," and other jokes concerning you being an obvious homosexual. Repeat 24/7 for 2 weeks.

Step 3 is your comatose phase, where you will slip in and out of consciousness for several days. You will then be buried by nonbelievers, who assume that you are dead.

But trust me, you aren't.

You see, I became a vampire by slitting my throat while simultaneously eating the pages of Twilight. When I started to black out, I told myself that I was going to become a vampire and not die. Guess what? It worked! How about you go and try it and see if your as lucky as me.

Vampires are an eduucated sort of beastes an wil hav notin to do wit us trolls. sory

Jesus Christ, you don't seem intelligent enough to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Where'd you learn to write like that? By skipping school every single day?

Vampires aren't real.

You cannot TURN into a vampire. You have to be born one. I'm sorry.

Let a valuganus bat bite u

lol even if vampires exist i guess they do have "taste" too.