Seniors, did your children/grandchildren ever say anything that stuck in your mind as funny?

Question

Here are some examples but, it's long so have a cup of tea/coffee and enjoy.

GRAND KIDS
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.. 
( 2) My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62.  My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked,  "Did you start at 1?" 
(3). After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,  putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,"Who was THAT?" 
  (4). A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond.  I had a swing made from a tire, it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed,  taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!" 
(5). My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?''.... .. "You're both old," he replied. 
(6). A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather' s word processor. She told him she was writing a story.. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read." 
( 7).. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!" 
(8). When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,  we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in.  Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa.  Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights. " 
(9). When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure..."  "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6." 
  (10). A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.. "That's interesting, " she said,  "how do you make babies?"  "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." 
( 11). Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child." 
( 12). A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.  The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck."  A third child brought the argument to a close."They use  the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants." 
( 13).. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport." 
( 14). Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him! 
( 15). My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over you  hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

† John M † · Accepted Answer

My little daughter 4 yrs old, who was born at our ripe age, when she made a mistake, she will always ask "do you still love me", and we just feel so hilarious and will answer her yes we still and always love you.

Little children are so innocent in their thought, and love seems to be the utmost important that they need to have, in order to feel secured.

Love,
John M

Anonymous · Answer

When my son was about 3 or 4 my Mom his grandma were playing cards and she looked at him and said Johnny that is what I call cheating and my son piped up and said No Gramma that is what I call winning!
It was so funny I never forgot it.

When my son was around 2 yrs old I was up before he was and making breakfast and all of a sudden I hear his voice shouting out "Mommy your baby is awake!" I laughed and went into kiss his face off. 

When my son was a baby of about 11 months old his Grandma was calling him "her dolly" and so his cousin who was 2 years older listened to this and after a while he said to her," Is Johnny a doll or a baby which is it?" we all laughed.

When we were at Knotts Berry Farm my son was just 22 months old but could say a few words and my Uncle was holding him and suddenly there was a "shoot out and one of the cowboys was on top of the building and his partner was telling him to jump. And then my son starting saying it too Yump , Yump, and my uncle laughed and Johnny said it louder and suddenly the guy on the building hollered down to Johnny , "I do not want to Yump"! It was so cute, I was laughing that the guy could hear his little voice sayiung Yump.

LolaCorolla · Answer

3 was my favorite!  

When my kids were 10 and 6, I was serving them lunch one day and when  I set the hot dogs down in front of them, my son (the 10-year-old) said:  Mom...Jackie (my best friend at the time) said that meat's not good for you...is she a vegetarian?  Before I could even open my mouth to explain that, yes, she was, my daughter (the 6-year-old) piped up:  No, ya dummy...she's in real estate.

Lily · Answer

Hi Amelia, Happy Birthday for the other day.

Ah yes grandchildren they do tend to come with their own little dictionary of anecdotes, lol.

My granddaughter thinks that I have lovely soft skin just like a moo cow ( I would have preferred a peach) but what heck at least she didn't say I looked like one.

Bflatblues · Answer

Numbers two and thirteen had me chuckling out loud...thanks for the smiles! 

When my daughter was about five, she pointed to my left leg one day and asked at a dinner table of five people, "When I get big mommy, will I have these very close veins too?"  I had varicose veins. She thought they were called "very close veins" ... of course, everyone got a kick out of it but me!!

When we took her to get registered for kindergarten, the teacher was assessing her level of current skills and asked her to go draw a circle on the chalkboard. She drew a circle. Teacher asked her if she knew what a square would look like. She drew a square. Teacher then asked her if she could draw a triangle. Well, what my daughter drew looked more like a church steeple... tall and slim but definitely three-pointed. The teacher went to her and said, "Well, that's close, but this is a real triangle" and drew a perfect triangle next to my daughter's. Daughter looks up at the teacher, pauses a moment, looks back at both triangles then points to them saying "Well this is what YOU think is a triangle but this (pointing to hers) is MY kind of triangle."
I was horrified, but the teacher looks at me and says, "Oh... I do so hope I get this little girl in MY class." hahaha... 

My daughter went on to become a bit of an artist. I guess she's always seen things in her own way.

- · Answer

My daughter was about 5 and she was dawdling around and we had to get ready to go somewhere. I told her she was wasting time and to hurry up. She turned around and asked me why we couldn't save time like we save money and other things and then use it later when we needed it. Great idea but it doesn't work that way. I wish I had the time I wasted waiting in line and waiting for people who were late. 

She watched the rainy-day song on Sesame Street several times and started asking me for a rain-brella.  She used to say Santa Clown instead of Claus.

When my daughter was 2 years old someone gave her a small half-daschund puppy, he liked to grab her toys and hide under the sofa with them. We told her he was a kleptomaniac. One day she got mad at him for taking her doll, and said she was tired of that "maniac" stealing her toys.

Anonymous · Answer

I have 3 step grandchildren I rarely see and 6 step great-grandchildren I rarely see either.  I saw the latest one a few months after she was born last year.  lol  I used to say nutty things when I was little and my older sister (almost 12 yrs. older) would laugh and go repeat it, but I felt put down and embarrassed.

? · Answer

One of my co-workers told me this story about his two sons who were 10 and 7 at the time...

They were cleaning out an area that had vinyl LP records stored in it and they boys had never seen a vinyl record....

They asked their dad: Wow!  How big was the Walkman that was used to play these records?  

He told them: The Walkman was huge!  It was so huge you couldn't carry it around - you had to haul in a station wagon.

Good luck.

Dinah · Answer

My son then about 5, was perched with his legs crossed ankle-across-knee on the dryer while I emptied the dishwasher across from him. I'd given him my then-husband's pipe to play "man" with.  The cabinet was open to the big calendar inside the door.  He studied the calendar and asked, "Mom?  Is today the twenty-tooth?"

My niece was about 4, perched on my kitchen table watching me get down a mug.  She asked, "Can I have a coff-a-cuppie?" 

Thanks for jogging the memories.

Anonymous · Answer

My three year old great-grandson and I were digging in the planter box when I said to the dog, Ruby come over and help us dig" my great-grandson said" Dogs don't have any hands."

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Seniors, did your children/grandchildren ever say anything that stuck in your mind as funny?

18 Answers