What do you think of this e-mail I sent to the Michigan Wolverines Athletic Department?

Question

Dear University of Michigan Athletic Department,
 
    I am interested in becoming the next Michigan Wolverines Head Football Coach. I understand that a top public candidate in Jim Harbaugh recently decided to take his talents to San Francisco, but I think that the Michigan fan base would be equally happy with my hiring.
 
 
Resume
 
Name: Matthew Riley
Date of Birth: February 8th, 1995 (age 15)
Home Phone: (my home #)
Cell Phone: (my cell #)
E-mail: (my e-mail)
Address: (My address)
School: Sophomore at Waterford Kettering High School
Previous Employment: Waterford Parks and Recreation
 
- Michigan Man my entire life. I've only been out of state 3 times, and have NEVER visited Columbus (Thank God)
- 15 years football experience.
- I refereed 6 weeks of 5 and 6 year olds playing flag football last fall with Waterford Parks and Recreation
- Hate Ohio State with a passion
- Love Michigan Wolverines sports and will love Michigan Wolverines sports for my entire life.
- Went to a Lions football game 10 years ago and an Detroit Fury Arena Football game 8 years ago (I haven't been able to afford any more)
- I am in my High School's Marching Band and have seen every home game they have played. Their current record in the two years I have been there is 2-16.
- Got an A- in my 'Team Sports' class last year, which included me catching the winning Touchdown in one of our touch football games.
 
I am also very negotiable in terms of salary.
 
Please feel free to reply to this e-mail with any question, comments, or salary offer you may have.
 
Thank you and sincerely,
 
            
            Matthew James Riley

 

PS: I hate to be picky, but I do prefer an office with a window facing the west so that if I decide to have a sleepover in my office, I am not woken up by the sun. Thank you in advance.



Question: Will I be accepted?
Question2: Will any of the 8 people in the Athletic Department I sent this to respond to me?

XD

Detroit Tigers · Accepted Answer

They should give you a shot, you can't possibly be worse than Rich Rod.

Anonymous · Answer

Depending upon the nature of your employment, and whether or not there is (or was) a contract in place between yourself and your employer which stipulated criteria for dismissal, your termination may indeed be valid. Many states, such as Michigan, take an "at will" approach toward employment; you can quit or be let go at any time for virtually any reason. In certain circumstances, contracts may be negotiated which clearly define offenses which can result in termination, but if you do not have such a contract, then the employer was not violating any known laws in your termination. You made the mistake of griping about someone on a public system, a bad move on your part. Keep in mind next time that **any** e-mail either sent or received on a company's network can be viewed by the company - you have no reasonable expectation of privacy if you're using their resources (and doubly so if you're using the e-mail account they set up for you). Next time you feel like griping about someone you work with, do it over a drink or two at a bar with your friend, not in a way that can be permanently retained.

rmrndrs · Answer

If you are really 15 this is a pretty awesome e-mail. I am pretty sure you will not get the head coaching job at Michigan, at least not now, but you are pretty funny. You may have a future as a comedian or writer.

andrew - chelsea and Ajax 4 life · Answer

um maybe if you were 45 and had some of what they call experience they would except you. But lets get real man

i do hope they hire you cuz u sound awesome

K-Dawg Spartans Fan · Answer

Lmao @ the catorgory suggestion.

I think you have the job. Although your nickname is saying you think Miles should coach UofM, so its contradictory. Can't wait to beat you or miles.

GTAP!! · Answer

I don't think you will be accepted but if you are I'm available for assistant coach or coordinator.I have a great football mind.

I bet they will.It would be funny.

red4tribe · Answer

Hell, why not hire you? Couldn't be worse than Rich Rodriguez, right?

Anonymous · Answer

You're already more qualified than Rich Rod.

Anonymous · Answer

lol gotta love the office facing the west... and oh yeah go bucks!

Anonymous · Answer

Are you Lloyd Carr?

Trending News

What do you think of this e-mail I sent to the Michigan Wolverines Athletic Department?

15 Answers